'There is a spiritual imagination. The body must always obey its orders. While this power can heal the patient, it can also make a healthy person sick.' Avicenna
Vaginismus is the inability of women to have sexual intercourse. The area where sexual intercourse occurs in a woman is called the vagina. Involuntary and uncontrolled contraction of the muscles around the vagina, causing a contraction throughout the body; Vaginismus is a disorder of adaptation experienced by the unconscious, beyond the control of the woman, which results in the woman pushing her partner and the inability to have sexual intercourse due to feelings such as fear, anxiety and panic.
The reason why every woman with vaginismus has vaginismus. It could be different. Some information taught to girls since childhood is processed unconsciously over time and creates the taboos of Vaginismus. 'Sexuality is bad, the hymen is something valuable and needs to be protected, sexuality hurts, it feels bad.' Women who grew up with this information do not allow sexual intercourse because they are sure that it will hurt them.
Unfortunately, it is a very common situation that women of all age groups lack sexual knowledge. With the logic that uncertainty creates fear, when a woman does not have information about her own anatomy and sexuality, her fear will increase. If vaginal lubrication and clitoris hardening are ensured before sexual intercourse, the woman will not be hurt and intercourse will give pleasure to the woman. A woman who does not have this knowledge will expect pain, everything expected will likely happen and the woman will be hurt.
The perspective of 'sexuality is for men, it is the duty of women' sees sexuality as torture. Since she would be a dishonorable woman when she feels pleasure, she shuts down her system and instead of feeling pleasure, she either feels nothing or feels pain. Because the command that you cannot enjoy pleasure has been engraved in your brain since childhood.
Traumatic experiences in childhood can cause vaginismus. If there is harassment or rape in the woman's life story, every new sexual experience will lead the woman to trauma and the woman will experience every emotion she feels over and over again. Even if the man in a woman's life is the person she loves, it is the man who causes the woman to repeat the trauma. Compulsions disrupt body-mind integrity It spoils the blood and causes vaginismus.
If there are women with vaginismus in the family, girls grow up with these stories. During childhood and adolescence, exaggerated first night stories and pain stories are processed in the woman's unconscious and vaginismus becomes inevitable.
If women are constantly oppressed in a male-dominated society, women's identity is ignored and women are second-class citizens. is treated as such; She ignores her own oppressed identity, her femininity, and does not want to be a woman, like her mother. This unconscious thought causes the woman to have vaginismus in a way she cannot understand.
The conflictual relationship that girls experience with their mothers, which begins in the early years of childhood and continues through adolescence, determines how the woman will perceive sexuality. If the mother ignores her daughter, the daughter feels anger towards her mother and cannot accept her mother. An adolescent girl who cannot accept her mother becomes unable to accept her sexual identity over time. The woman now begins to feel the same anger and resentment towards her sexual identity that she felt towards her mother. When She has sexual intercourse, she will be a woman and she does not want this because she feels anger. She develops a full-blown reaction to sexual intercourse and being touched, and vaginismus occurs.
As a result of the father constantly humiliating the mother in the family, not valuing her and treating her worthless, the girl identifies herself as a woman in order to feel valuable in front of her father. He ignores it and doesn't want to feel like a woman. Her father does not love her mother because she is a woman, and she stops feminine situations in her mind so that her father will love her. Many problems occur during childhood and adolescence, but their appearance in sexuality results in the woman rejecting her femininity. A woman experiences vaginismus with the taboo that she should not be a woman in order to be valuable in front of her husband.
Sexuality is for men and women. A sexual life in which couples enjoy mutual pleasure and are happy is the healthiest. Myths circulating in our culture alienate men and women from sexuality, create fear and turn them into torture. I wish you to overcome all this and experience happy and healthy sexuality...
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