Imagine going for a walk with a visually impaired person. Do you determine your step distance and walking speed accordingly, or do you stay at your own pace?
There may be visible and invisible obstacles in human life. Ultraviolet light/rays do not exist because we cannot see them. Obstacles do not cover us as a whole, they are local. It affects us as a whole, but we are not just that.
The essence of this article is to touch upon points related to the system around that person and how people approach and accompany this situation, rather than the people experiencing a pathological, depressed, dysfunctional period.
As can be seen in the examples given above, Psychiatric/Psychological based problems are not externally visible experiences like our physical disabilities. The explanation is not as simple as explaining the symptoms we experience during the common cold to a doctor. It is generally characterized by experiences that are expressed in emotional states such as constriction, tightness, restlessness, addiction, exhaustion, aggression, reluctance, and also experiences that reduce functionality such as sleep, loss of appetite, and decreased sexual desire.
What kind of city is X?
What kind of cars does brand X produce?
The group How are their new songs?
Where is food X specific to it? What is the best recipe?
Due to the influence of the cultural context, we generally give answers based on our subjective experiences to such questions rather than giving technical comprehensive answers.
In a different way. If the other person talks to you about the feeling of loneliness, we usually suggest it by imagining your own loneliness, not the situation-feeling that the other person is experiencing. We usually listen to the negative experiences of a friend, such as quitting his job, going through a divorce, or having a traffic accident, based on how they reflect on us. We recommend coping skills that work for us. (In general, people listen not to understand, but to respond according to what they can experience.)
While this protective attitude is very useful in daily life for being listened to, cared for, and establishing external relationships, it also has some problems. In some cases, it may turn into a desire to start a car that is not working by pushing it.
If the technical problem in the vehicle is not resolved due to pushing, repeating the same things over and over will become challenging for both parties. In the long run, it will bring patterns such as disappointment, sadness and anger. It can also make you feel weak when you have to push the car on a hill.
We can think of human life as a set of seasons, just like in nature. Some winters last long. It's going to be tough. Access to resources becomes difficult. Your loved one may not be experiencing the same winter as you. While air conditioning is a sufficient measure for protection for you, your relative may feel the need to store 3 months' worth of food in a pantry.
Needs and expectations are not as they appear, but as we see them. (Of course, in order to see this, we must discover our uncovered feelings in a simple way.)
Following what is happening from the right distance, on a basis of sincere trust, without ignoring the constructive and destructive effects of relationships, and providing the companionship that the person needs will open communication. Contrary to what is expected, protective reflexes can also turn into a feeling of intervention in an adult life.
We should be able to observe the situation we are in ourselves from the audience seat. We cannot always manage to get into the audience seat on our own, and an expert will be effective at this point.
Periods of silence teach us to talk. The state of hunger makes being hungry worthwhile. Since it is night, we named it day. Long-term experiences of unhappiness and uncertainty; It can make the period we are experiencing as destructive and frightening as earthquakes.
However, the damage caused to the building as a result of the earthquake can be restored and made stronger than before. Did the building collapse? If the excavation is recovered, the ground will be cleared for a new building and living space. Nature creates itself in a chaos-based dynamic. Disasters, no matter how challenging they are for the period and geography in which they occur, do not bring the end of nature. On the contrary, new ecosystems and areas expand.
Unpredictable, just like in nature We are living in a time. With an appropriate adaptation, experiential chaos situations can also serve to recreate us rather than destroy us.
Finally, I leave you a movie suggestion about the impact of the environment on determining the situations experienced.
Lars And The Real Girl, 2007
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