Under normal conditions, the physical space is clear and the boundaries of people are clear. But everyone has a spiritual, psychological side and similar limits. However, since these boundaries are not physical, they are not clearly visible, we need to show this to our environment. It is important that we show this in our environment, because human beings are creatures that live and exist in relation to other people. Structurally, other people tend to relate. According to some psychological theories, interacting with other people is a basic need for people. What can we do? One can also choose it when one cannot decide what to do or if nothing can be done to completely erase it. We can briefly call this the policy of making do with what you have.
The second thing to do is to resort to problem solving methods. If we look at what can be done to make the relationship go on a better path, we can list it as follows:
1. Waiting for the person with whom we have a problem to change
The first condition for a person to change is to see a problem in himself. They then need to request a change for this issue, believe the change can happen, and then take the necessary steps to make those changes happen. It seems like a very long road, and if the person in front of you does not see himself as a problem, then the possibility of change has already disappeared.
2. Trying to change the person with whom we have a problem
It is necessary to seek to change the person with whom we have problems, to make speeches and to act for this purpose. mustn't forget. Otherwise, trying to change someone will, on the contrary, cause him to become stubborn with us and not change.
3. Yourself focus on change
If there is going to be change, the third possibility left is to change the person himself, this option can be a difficult, painful and troublesome process. However, the only way for change, or rather, the only variable under our control towards change is our own behavior and speech. It takes courage in this process, but it is the only way that can create a result change, and if this way is used, incredibly good results can occur.
Characteristics of Good Communication
1. One that is about clear talking
“We've had little time together lately.”
2. Expressing your own feelings, thoughts and wishes honestly and openly
“As the times we were together gradually decreased, I started to think that you didn't want me and I was sad about it.”
3. Listening well with the aim of understanding
"Have I understood correctly, you started to think that I didn't want you when we were together less and less lately, and you made him feel sorry for me."
4. Respecting the other person, accepting their existence and differences “I understand why you feel that way.”
Characteristics of bad communication
Concealed and long talk about the other party
Example: “You haven't paid any attention to me lately, you've never cared about me anyway, you always think about yourself, you always think about yourself. When something happens, you call me immediately, don't you think about someone else a little bit, if that's not selfishness, what is?"
Hiding feelings, thoughts and intentions or revealing behaviors. Example: Not bringing up the disturbing subject at all, waiting or being silent, offended, not speaking, sulking, actually speaking loudly when talking about other subjects.
Not listening to the other party listening for self-defense or offensive purposes. Example: “Sorry I've been so busy lately I can't even breathe from work. (Listening for defensive purposes.)” “There were times when you never called me to ask, but I never acted like you at that time. (Listening for offensive purposes.)”
Not respecting the other party, humiliating her, not accepting the existence and differences of the other party.
Example: “How can you think like that? A normal person would never think like that. You have no right to think like that!”
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