Eating problems in children is one of the issues I have worked on most in my professional life. This problem is a popular topic in recent years. While "eating problems" were very rare in the past years, "child eating" is now very rare. Speaking of the eating child; I'm not talking about plain meatballs, pasta and rice. How did it happen that the number of children experiencing this problem began to increase? Are eating problems really a children's problem? Or is it a problem caused by parents? In this section, you will read how your child can approach his or her eating problem...
Eating child syndrome
Many children today have eating problems. When we say eating problems, they are problems that arise from the family, not from the child. I'm not talking about children who have eating problems due to physiological or psychological reasons. The basis of family-related eating problems dates back to infancy. When children begin to make their own decisions around the age of 2.5, picky eating behaviors also become evident. Families begin to look for alternative methods for a child who starts to be a picky eater. They prepare some mixtures for their children who are resistant to consuming healthy foods. They turn it into puree to get the vitamin. Some children who enter preschool also experience “puree syndrome.” Families ask, "My child does not eat solids, is it okay if I bring puree from home?" they request. At first, these children start eating potatoes by mashing them. Over time, there will be no such thing as an eating problem at school. This situation, which develops at school, still continues at home. This time, families can ask, "How did he eat beans at school, but he never eats them at home?" Families need to question and revise their attitudes here. It is necessary to examine whether the eating problem originates from the child or the family. There is no child who does not eat. Every child gets hungry and they naturally know how to eat. Family-related eating syndrome occurs due to wrong attitudes.
Children who are force-fed
The child is full, but the mother does not believe that she is full. The child may say he is full or he may say he is not hungry. The mother says, "No, no, you are not satisfied." The mother tries to manage not only the child but also her stomach. The child's inference in this process is "I cannot decide whether I am full or not, my mother decides." My mother controls my body. I don't decide I am. Because it is invalid.” Dir. Then, psychologists are consulted because he cannot make his own decisions and has low self-confidence.
During infancy, there may be times when the child refuses to eat the food. Some mothers try to forcefully put a spoon into their mouth during this process. The boy sprays again. This time he closes his mouth tightly. The mother makes another attempt, holds his chin, forces him to open his mouth and inserts the spoon again. When you think about it, it's a helpless situation for the child who expresses himself only by clamping his mouth shut. Think about the tension while feeding. Can this child develop a positive attitude towards eating? In fact, most eating problems develop after negative food experiences. As the baby grows, he/she shows resistance to eating. While the child's resistance continues in the preschool period, the stubborn child wins against insistent parents. Because when he refuses to eat, the parents become miserable. He cannot hold or open his jaw like he did when he was a baby. The child is too old to allow this. In fact, he may continue this behavior in the future by choosing food, rejecting food, and perhaps being stubborn with his parents, which he could not show in his infancy.
Child-centered tables
In some families, whatever the child says is carried out immediately. Children decide the menu of the meal. Eggs are fried at midnight because the child wants it. I know mothers who whip cakes at night because they want children. There are those who say that their children should not go hungry and should eat whatever they want. The main problem of child-centered tables is not food. It means "doing whatever the child wants". These families don't just show this attitude at meals. There are also children who buy it as beans in the middle of the night and have their mothers buy it from the grocery store. Defense is; His son asked for beans for the first time in his life. Beans are bought from the grocery store in the middle of the night and made. Conclusion; The child will not eat that bean. The problem is not food. If the child makes all the decisions in the family, this becomes a problem in every area. The main reason for some eating problems is that the child controls the parents. These families need to first develop boundary setting and parenting skills rather than solving their eating problems. Different problems arise in most of the families who come to the hospital because they "do not eat". “Children can get "the decisions to be made and the decisions of the parents" should be taught.
Houses where "food" is on the agenda
If food is on the agenda of a house, there is definitely an eating problem in that house. If everyone, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, is talking about this issue, they have managed to attract all the attention by not paying attention. If he eats, no one will care about him. To maintain interest, one must refuse to eat. The family cannot be satisfied without the child eating. You can't sit at that table without eating a child. Such a family should be concerned with its own food, not the child. Whatever the family is interested in, the child will also be interested in. Even if he doesn't eat after a while, he will still want to sit at the table and become the center of attention. It doesn't matter whether he eats little, eats a lot, or is a picky eater. Focus on helping him sit at the same table and eat on his own, rather than the amount you consume. Drop “eating” behavior from your agenda. Don't overreact just because he ate or didn't eat. Do not applaud, stars or give gifts when he eats. Because eating is one of our basic needs and a natural behavior. It is what it should be. If you want your child's refusal to eat behavior to continue, do not forget to put "eating" on your agenda.
What should families do? What should be the attitudes towards eating?
The primary duty of the human body is to continue vital functions from the moment of birth until death. Therefore, our duty is to help our body in this task, and that is why we do nutrition. We should explain nutrition to our children in this way, so that eating can turn from a necessity to a help. I know that our most valuable assets are our children and we want them to be well, but know that every body is much more willing to be well than we are. If there is no physical problem, I would say that it would be beneficial to first get rid of fears and concerns about nutrition, because it is right and sufficient for us. The nutritional criterion is the growth curve. In fact, if you look at it, these problems are caused by a perception of poverty and scarcity that extends from past to present. This scarcity and the perception of poverty from the past has not yet been stopped because it has spread to our great-grandmothers, grandmothers and mothers. Be assured that there is no longer a shortage of food, There is no risk of going hungry for days, there is no need to buy bread in queues with ration cards, there is no one crying after you... On the contrary, there are more than enough markets and eating places everywhere, so it cannot be found, let's stock up is no longer a valid measure!!!
Your child will first learn everything in his life from you. Since nutrition is also a behavior, you have to be a good example. Since it is an anxiety-centered issue, if you first 'feed' the children and then eat yourself, that child may of course refuse to eat if he cannot see you being fed. This is exactly the reason why he eats so many things at school that he does not eat at home, that is, the number of people doing this behavior has increased around him. In addition, the more sensitive the family is about nutrition, the more the child dominates this issue and uses eating to get what he wants. First of all, it is necessary for mothers to avoid the worry that "if they do not eat, they will get sick" so that the child does not turn this situation into an opportunity. What needs to be done is; Establishing a meal time and order, not insisting that he eat, leaving him if he does not eat, but not allowing him to consume food when he is hungry. Please do not see this situation of not allowing permission as cruelty, rest assured that this will be your salvation, if mothers can achieve it, of course. If a rule is made to sit at the table for children who do not want to eat in homes where meal times are set, and it is stated that the reason for this is sharing as a family, Be sure that there will be no child leaving that table without eating.
Unfortunately, imposing sanctions on your child for eating with a reward mechanism such as fast food nutrition, toys, chocolate or anything he/she likes will cause both health problems and unhealthy relationships in the future.
What I have observed in society. Three wrong questions asked about food attract my attention. This is done from the youngest to the oldest because it is a teaching learned when they were young. If the wrong questions are asked; 1) Are you hungry? 2) Are you full? 3) What do you want or want? The secret message given by these questions is that you eat when you are hungry, eat until you are full, do not leave the table until you are full, and eat whatever you want. In this case, I don't think it would be right to say that the problem is with the child. Imagine, there is no meal time at school or workplace. How complicated can things get now that everyone goes out to dinner at their own time? When this confusion occurs in the mind with the questions asked, the results are not good at all. And then it causes a lot of health problems.
The biggest complaint made to me as a nutritionist is about food selection. I'm sure this is a problem experienced in almost every home. If you ask a child who does not yet know what is the right or wrong food, "what does he want or what do you want to eat?", of course, in the future, he will turn into a situation where he chooses this food and does not eat everything, and you will bore yourself in order to make your child happy. The thing to do is not to create too many alternatives when it comes to food, not to say "let's not go hungry and at least eat this". For example, if you put both meatballs and green beans on the table, the child will of course choose the meatballs and will not eat vegetables. Actually, the right options are green beans or eggplant? It should be. This way, your child will still make the choice, but you will set the right boundaries. I know you may be saying that if it's easy, you should do it, but rest assured, I did it and the result was very nice. None of the suggestions we give have been implemented, they are not suggestions that are valid only in books. I call out to the mothers who say that their conscience does not allow them to do so, you must have a say in your conscience so that your children do not take control of you and then wrong eating habits do not develop.
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