Family is the primary social unit in a child's life and the smallest social unit in which he experiences his first experiences. The attitudes developed and maintained towards the child have an impact on the child's self-development and the behaviors he/she will acquire in the future. In addition to family attitudes, the personality structures of the mother and father, the living environment, environmental conditions and cultural structures also have important contributions to the child's development. However, it should not be forgotten that family experiences are the primary addressee of the child's first experiences from birth and the primary factor in laying the foundations of the schemas and thoughts that develop in his mind.
There are basically 6 different parental attitudes that summarize these attitudes and approaches.
It is possible to mention.
1. The oppressive and authoritarian approach that we call authoritarian is the parent who has strict rules and expects the rules to be followed without explaining them, the feeling of having complete control over the children, preferring to observe rather than listening to the children, not liking children asking questions, not allowing children to seek freedom. In the future, children who grow up in environments with these approaches; It reinforces that children are aggressive, angry, irritable, rebellious to authority, disrespectful, and have difficulty complying with rules. 2. Another attitude, which we call indifferent, is that the parent has an approach that does not show love and affection to the child, does not teach the rules, does not discipline the children and acts impatiently. At the same time, parents with this attitude are easily angered and spend hours pursuing their own interests and pleasures, but complain that they cannot find time by overreacting in situations where they need to take care of their children. If children grow up in environments similar to these, they are likely to become individuals who lack self-confidence, are rebellious, exhibit incompatible behavior in order to attract attention and prove their existence to the environment, have communication problems, and do not make an effort to become better in the later stages of their lives. 3. Another parental attitude is parents with overly protective attitudes.
Parents make an effort to teach the rules, but there is a lack of teaching and enforcement. Behaviors such as lack of intelligence, overprotective behavior, assuming the child's responsibilities, and preventing the child from trying to find what is right and wrong are all in question. It is even possible to consider situations such as not warning the child even if he or she has made a wrong move, as normal. Children who grow up with these attitudes and attitudes may later appear as individuals who have weak decision-making skills and self-defense skills, are dependent, and have difficulty complying with social rules. 4. In the fourth category, which we call overly tolerant, which includes parental attitudes that cannot set limits and have inconsistent boundaries, it includes family attitudes that act very hastily in fulfilling the wishes of the child, allowing him to get everything he wants immediately, and seeing the child as the person who has a say and is the decision-maker in the family.
Children who grow up in such an environment are likely to take part in society in the later stages of their lives as individuals who are insatiable, do not know their own limits and do not respect the limits of others, are incompatible, dominating, lack responsibility and have problems with self-control.
5. It includes attitudes that we call perfectionist, which imposes the ideals that cannot be realized on the child directly as the child's responsibility, without taking into account the child's wishes and potential, cannot accept that their children make mistakes, and has very high expectations. Children growing up in such an environment are likely to continue their lives as individuals who feel inadequate and worthless, who are crushed under the expectations of the family, who therefore have difficulty in maintaining their healthy development, who strive for success, but when they cannot reach the desired level, they experience intense disappointment despite being successful.
6. In the last group, which we call democratic parental attitude, which is the attitude that supports healthy development, parents provide explanations to their children while they are learning the distinction between right and wrong, support them in their trials, do not withhold their love from the child, are interested in the child's needs, and encourage the child to ask questions and express their thoughts. establishing healthy communication Iran are individuals who exhibit behaviors that encourage their children for new experiences. It contributes to the children of individuals with these attitudes being individuals who have high self-confidence, know that they are loved and are aware of loving, are happy, creative, have good family relations, are harmonious, have strong social relations, are aware of responsibility and are open to new experiences.
The impact of attitudes on children's healthy development is undeniable. For this reason, it is important to be more devoted and careful when communicating with our children and to remember that their primary role models are parents. Although it is difficult to be fully democratic at all times, parents giving themselves small reminders about the consequences of these attitudes will support them in gaining control over their own behavior.
Dear parents can use the sharing as a guide and notice the differences you observe in your children and yourself. You can use it to evaluate your behaviors and attitudes. You can consult experts for situations that you have difficulty in overcoming.
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