Communication within the Family and Healthy Communication Suggestions

What are the Basic Requirements of the Family?

We can examine the basic needs of the family under 7 subheadings.

1. Feeling of being valuable: Interaction within the family leads children to the feeling of "I am valuable" or "I am worthless". If this need is not met within the family, the child tries to achieve this feeling by other means. The fact that teenage boys form gangs and clashes, often resulting in death, can be interpreted as a reaction to family environments that do not see them as important. The individual who achieves the feeling of "I am valuable" within the family will not need to take extreme actions to prove himself/herself.

2. Environment of trust: Individuals within the family feel that they are within the family. He/she wants to feel safe and that dangerous events outside will not enter the family. This feeling is also a feeling that must be earned within the family. One thing that should not be forgotten is how safe the child is at home. The home environment should be structured considering the dangers that TV and age-inappropriate internet environments may pose, especially in terms of exposure to violence. Eating in front of the TV, decorating the home environment according to the TV, news programs that contain excessive violence, and magazine programs that encourage children and young people can be factors that disrupt the safety of the home for children. A child who does not find himself safe may turn to a place outside the family and break his ties with the family.

3. Sense of closeness and solidarity: If there is basic trust and solidarity within the family, it creates stress that the individual faces outside the family. Negative events are not so devastating. A family with a sense of security can protect itself from the troubles and anxieties created by the outside world. Individuals in this type of family trust their surroundings as well as themselves. If trust and solidarity are not established within the family, These people experience intense stress and tension. These people cannot even trust themselves. Therefore, they cannot establish close relationships around them.

4. Sense of responsibility: The sense of responsibility begins to develop within the family system. Mothers and fathers express their sense of responsibility through their actions and words. Everyone in the family, not just the parents, shares the sense of responsibility. Of course, children should be given responsibilities in proportion to their age. Mothers and fathers who take all the responsibility on themselves and relieve their children of responsibility raise individuals who have difficulty in shaping their own lives and are constantly under the control of others. Individuals raised as a result of such attitudes constantly hold others responsible for the events in their lives.

How to Gain a Sense of Responsibility?

Responsibility begins with the age of the child, starting from early childhood. It starts with giving tasks appropriate to the child's gender and development level. Starting from the age of two and a half, giving the child the opportunity to drink his soup on his own, even if it is a waste, waiting for him to collect his toys, preparing an environment for him to sleep in his own room and in his own bed, provides an encouraging and supportive environment for the child in terms of responsibility. Such an environment will increase the child's self-confidence as it will give him the opportunity to be self-sufficient and self-managed.

On the contrary, the protective approach; It prevents the child from becoming a self-sufficient, independent individual. Protecting a child or young person and raising him/her under your wing does more harm than good. The seeds of self-esteem develop if responsibility is given.

Interaction within the family leads the child to either the feeling of “I am valuable”or“I am worthless”

In order for the child to perceive himself as "I am valuable" and to feel that he is important, he first needs social acceptance from his immediate environment. In order to create this environment, it is necessary to give the child the opportunity to practice. The child who dresses as he wishes, chooses his own clothes, draws the pictures he wishes, eats his food without pressure, sees that his personality is respected and can express himself freely, thinks "I am valuable". The child's feeling of importance and value It leads to breakthroughs and successes.

5. Learning to overcome difficulties by struggling with them:Everything should not be given to the child ready-made. What is explained about the development of a sense of responsibility is about struggling with difficulties. Considering the developmental stage of the child, the child should be left alone with his own problems. This approach is necessary to enable children to struggle with problems and to grow up as self-confident individuals with developed problem-solving skills. Children of parents who help excessively in every difficulty they encounter are constantly dependent on others and insecure about themselves. Such people cannot discover their talents.

6. Environment of happiness and self-realization:The family environment is an environment of happiness. Meeting the needs described so far brings happiness. The individual who feels valued at home becomes happy, gets satisfaction from the things he does, and finds the opportunity to realize himself. Otherwise, when a mother who devotes herself to her child or spouse suspends or abandons her own development, she will experience deprivation or become unhappy by thinking that she has sacrificed herself and her youth. The unhappiness of one of the members of the house on this issue will affect other individuals and prevent family happiness. However, the purpose of the individual who devoted himself was most likely to make his family happier.

7. Environment to establish the foundations of a healthy spiritual life:A child raised under strict religious rules constantly experiences the fear of being judged and punished. Instead of investigating and discovering his inner and outer world, which will enrich his own life and experience, he learns blind obedience and being ashamed of his own thoughts and feelings. A healthy spiritual life is the most important process that a family can give to its child. People with a healthy spiritual foundation grow up to be respectful individuals who are at peace with themselves, have positive human relations, and have strong and strong human relations.

Communication

“People get along by talking. ”our proverb emphasizes the importance of interpersonal communication. Communication is a multifaceted exchange of messages with the people in front of us. These messages can be verbal or non-verbal. It can also be conveyed to others in different ways. While conveying our messages to others, our facial expressions, gestures, in other words, our body language, constitute a very important dimension of our communication.

Research shows that 65% of the message we want to give is delivered through non-verbal means (body language, facial expressions, etc.), and 35% of it is communicated verbally.

What is Required for Effective Communication?

For Effective Communication;

1- Respecting: Respecting the people around us means accepting their existence, making them feel that they are important and valuable, and accepting them as they are.

2- Acting Naturally: Acting as it is, without exaggeration.

3-Empathy:Perhaps the most important element of communication. In a sense, it is trying to see the outside world from the other person's window. This emotional partnership makes communication stronger.

4-Active Listening:A good listener pays attention not only to what the person he communicates with, but also to what he does with his face, hands, arms and body. , because communication is established using silent messages such as facial expressions, hand and arm movements, body posture, and tone of voice. Active listening shows that the listener not only hears what is said, but also understands it correctly. That's why this method is considered the healthiest communication method

Communication is not just talking. Communication also includes;

ó What to say,

ó When,

ó Where,

ó How to say it. to know,

ó To be able to present events in a simplified manner,

ó To be able to speak fluently and by establishing eye contact with the person in front of you,

ó To be able to concentrate attention and ensure that the other person understands the message given. It is being able to check what one does not understand.

The basis of effective communication lies in the individual knowing himself, being aware of his own values ​​and attitudes, and self-confidence. A good communicator immediately sees the clues (gestures, facial expressions, body posture) and evaluates them realistically. The concepts of active listening, reacting, positive approach and ego language are important for effective communication.

Communication within the Family

How Should the Parent-Child Relationship Be?

Every family can raise healthy and successful children. whether...or. While the awareness of raising healthy children is developing positively with the developing technology, unfortunately the expectation of success is increasing and the child is literally having to grow up early and take on responsibilities beyond his age. Parents who try to provide as good a future as possible for their children do their best to send them to good schools and give all their devotion to their children. However, how the child will develop a healthy personality is a subject that is not thought about much. In fact, not everything in life is success. The important thing is that the child can live the current period in a healthy manner and create a healthy identity.

Due to the characteristics of the periods in which the child lives, their needs are quite different from each other. A child who wants to fall asleep with his parents in childhood will not demand such a request in adolescence. Again, the child who travels with his parents will not want to travel with his parents in adolescence, nor will he even want to meet his parents when he is with his friends.

Adolescence is a process of change and development in itself, and in this period, in addition to the physical characteristics of the adolescent, clothing, eating habits, friends, etc. Differences may also be observed in their preferences and study habits.

Therefore, the child's age, gender and personality characteristics are very important in communicating with the child. Parents who can take a clear stance against possible dangers during childhood should be able to supervise their children remotely during adolescence. He/she should be controlled but not oppressive in choosing friends. Let's not forget that freedom does not mean unlimited.

The child reflects the family. The personality structure of the individuals in the family shapes the personality of the child. In other words, if the family cannot use communication skills, the child cannot use communication skills. Therefore, the child is constantly in conflict both in the family and in the social environment. When a child sees that his parents are listening to him, he first thinks that he is valued and important, accepted, and therefore loved. At the same time, the child can express his feelings

_{Read: 0}