How come I always establish relationships with people with the same characteristics? This is hard to make sense of. I'm 38 years old. I have never felt special to anyone in my life. This was the case for both my family and friends. People to whom I was emotionally attached have been disappointing to me. Every time I take a step into a relationship, at first everything seems to be fine, but then I experience the same problem. Even though I do my best, I get very angry inside when I realize that I am not receiving the attention and love that I deserve. I see that I am in the same vicious circle again. I'm tired of meeting selfish people. When I think about where I am in these relationships, I see a child who will do anything to look into his mother's eyes and hold her in his arms when he is in need. Most of the time, the mother ignores you, this is where everything starts...
If you think that your needs such as being loved, cared for and understood by others are ignored, that you cannot meet these needs and you feel lonely most of the time, this experience One of the reasons is the "emotional deprivation" schema... This schema tells you that the people you encounter are selfish and that you will never get what you want from them. We see that positive effects emerge if certain points we need in our childhood are met in order to become adults who adapt well to life. So it doesn't have to be perfect. The answer to the question of what a child needs for his development actually lies in a number of universal needs that every human being needs to be met. A child primarily needs to feel safe, autonomy, self-esteem, self-expression, realistic boundaries, and connectedness with others. If these are met, the child's psychology will progress healthily. If it is missing; Early maladaptive schemas formed by the damaging effect of these unmet needs develop throughout life. These are our core beliefs about ourselves that are difficult to change. They are self-destructive patterns that begin in childhood and repeat throughout life. One of them is the “emotional deprivation” schema... It is a difficult schema to understand.
It is hidden deep down. Some things are always missing but it was hard for you to understand why r. You say there is a problem somewhere, but you continue to experience the same cycle in your relationships. You try to establish relationships with people who cannot show warmth, attention, sincerity and love. You will experience emotional experiences with these people and will be disappointed as a result. You re-experience the deprivation and deprivation of your childhood in your relationships with these people. With the schema effect, you may become bored with people who truly show you warmth and sincerity. You wait until you see love in your relationship, and when you start receiving love, you start to stay away. You don't want to go on a path you don't know. No matter how much it hurts, the familiar path is better. You become hopeless in the face of all this deprivation you feel, and you think that you will never get all the love and affection you need, so you do not tell this to the other party or demand it in your relationships. You feel angry inside. You think you are not understood and do not try to explain. The feeling of loneliness is with you again. What could be the reasons for the formation of the "emotional deprivation" schema that causes you to experience such negative emotions? While one of the answers may be temperament, this schema is mostly encountered in people who did not receive enough love from their mothers in their childhood, were deprived of their mother's hug when they needed it, and were not made to feel that they were valuable and safe enough by their parents. While you're struggling with your schema, don't avoid people who you feel are emotionally close to you. Give them a chance. Due to schema chemistry, you may be attracted to people or spouses who act coldly. Try not to fall into this trap. Stop blaming people around you for not loving you enough. Think about why you are experiencing this. The “emotional deprivation” schema is a compelling, painful schema. Keep trying to get rid of the pattern. Be patient until your well is filled…
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