The first thing we can tell the family about exam anxiety is that anxiety is a natural emotion. It is impossible not to feel anxiety in an exam that millions take and only tens of thousands can pass. It should also be known that you cannot pass the exam without worrying. However, the anxiety we have mentioned so far is normal and experienced by every student taking the exam.
There are two reasons for the anxiety experienced by young people preparing for university entrance exams. The first reason is realistic and rational. It is natural and appropriate to feel anxious about taking part in a big race whose results will affect the course of life. However, the second reason is not as real and rational as the first. Thoughts such as "What will I tell my parents?", "How will I look at my friends' faces" increase the anxiety of the student preparing for the exam.
Parents' expectations of high success from their children from a very young age, criticizing the child in order to correct his mistakes, negative attitudes, Describing it with adjectives (naughty, lazy, irresponsible, slow, wimpy, etc.) reduces the child's self-confidence.
The reason why a student who experiences exam anxiety, which is a psychological problem, experiences this anxiety can be summarized as follows:
1. The young person has made a negative or incorrect evaluation about himself and the exam. The mindset of the student experiencing anxiety will be seen to include the following thoughts about himself or the exam:
About himself:
"I am not smart and hard-working enough to pass the exam."
"Everyone works harder than me."
"I will not be successful."
"I must be more successful than others, only in this way can I become a valuable person."
About the exam:
"This exam will determine my value and abilities."
"If I fail the exam, I will live a very bad life."
"This exam is the only way to be successful in life."
2. He evaluates all kinds of events in terms of negative or erroneous thoughts and sees even the smallest negativities as important evidence proving the accuracy of these negative thoughts.
For example:
"The student sitting next to me in the trial exam passed the exam before me." He finished, I was very I am inadequate."
"The number of questions solved by everyone is more than mine, I will not be able to pass this exam."
"I did not get the score I wanted in the trial exam, I always fail in exams anyway, I will not be able to pass the exam."
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The duty of the family of a young person who is preparing for the exam is to avoid behaviors that will cause more anxiety, rather than trying to cope with the anxiety that arises in this way, because the thinking styles that cause anxiety are often formed under the influence of the family and the environment.
At this point, we recommend families to pay attention to the following issues
1. Anxiety is a contagious emotion
The social conditions the student lives in are effective in the formation of anxiety. For example, if you see other people around you suddenly running left and right and panicking while walking on the road. Even if you don't know why, you start to feel panic and anxiety. In some cases like this, parents who experience more anxiety than their students may unknowingly cause their children to worry too.
2. Do not give negative messages
Avoid anxiety-increasing approaches to increase your child's desire to study. "You can't win with this much work." Approaches such as "If you go with this mentality, it will be difficult to earn money.", "Your uncle's son... got into his university, let's see what you will do.", "Oh, don't embarrass us", etc., do not encourage the young person to study and increase their anxiety level.
3. Your child's anxiety level increases. Do not push the limits
Strike a realistic balance between your own aspirations and your child's limits. If your child passes, he/she can study in a department with high scores or reach very high positions in his/her profession when he/she graduates. However, your child's capacity cannot reach such a high level in an exam taken by hundreds of thousands of people. It may not be enough to achieve success.
However, do not think in your mind or out loud that your child is "incompetent or incompetent", because he/she will feel or hear this anyway. The student should not be pressured or expected to get into the university.
4. Do not treat the situation that the student will experience as a punishment if he does not succeed in the exam.
"If you cannot pass, you will go to such and such a school." or "if you cannot enter ...... faculty, you will enter such and such faculty but you will be so and so." Words like " let him go It will not allow him to like the school he will attend or the job he will do. Such approaches prevent the child from loving life and himself and fundamentally shake his self-confidence.
5. Remember that commitment to each other is the goal and the exam is the tool
Do not jeopardize your relationship with your child for the sake of studying and being successful in the exam. If your relationship with your child is good and soft, you can remind them of their responsibilities with a moderate amount of "work" warning. Believe that your child is doing his best. If the result is not what you want, accept that your child is doing as much as he can.
6. The enemy of the good is perfect
Your expectations; It could be that your child is perfect. However, this should not prevent you from rejoicing and being happy. The student may not have received a certificate of appreciation at school for a while, but this does not prevent you from congratulating him on the certificate of appreciation he received. From time to time, parents expressing the weak points of the young person may not only shake their self-confidence but also lead to conflicts within the family. For this reason, it would be more useful for the parent to highlight the positive aspects of the young person and give warnings that will direct him to positive behavior without hurting him in case of negative behavior.
Regarding the exam, equating the young person's value with his success in the exam, intimidating, threatening, Expressions such as "If you don't win, see you then" or "If you don't win, how will you look at your friends' faces, we will be an embarrassment to all our family friends" increase the young person's anxiety, not their motivation. The young person thinks that his success in the exam, not himself, is important in the eyes of his family and others, and he attributes an unrealistic meaning to the exam. This increases the student's anxiety. Every exam is a "Crisis" for students whose anxiety increases and who give different meanings to the exam. The young person preparing for the exam with these feelings will see each exam, even each study test, as a battle to be won, and will interpret each question he cannot answer as a lost battle.
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