Connecting; It occurs between the mother, who is the attachment figure, and the baby. Although it takes shape from the womb
up to 24 months, its effects last a lifetime.
In these periods, the baby's needs are met, valued and cared for
As a result, the baby is accepted. and while he feels that he is special, when the opposite
happens; A feeling of worthlessness occurs.
Two styles of attachment come to the fore. The first of these is secure attachment style...
If the child receives the attention and love he needs without interruption and consistently
, he feels secure in both his mother and the world. connected in some way.
We can understand that a child is securely attached to his mother as follows;
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He is aware that he can reach his mother whenever he wants.
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When their mother leaves them, they experience normal tension and can calm down in the presence of a stranger.
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When reunited with their mother, they react such as hugging, being happy, and being happy.
Children with secure attachment feel secure in their relationships when they become adults,
They are successful in maintaining their relationships and their problem-solving skills are more developed.
On the other hand, they have not been able to develop a secure attachment style with their mother, that is,
Children with insecure attachment styles show this with 2 commonly seen types of insecure
attachment styles; The first of these; Anxious Ambivalent Attachment Style, the second one is
Avoidant Attachment Style.
We can understand that a child is anxiously and ambivalently attached to his/her mother as follows;
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He is not sure that he can reach his mother when he needs it.
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When his mother leaves the environment, he shows extreme sadness and inability to break away, and has a resistant attitude towards separation.
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When reunited with his mother, he becomes angry and rejecting towards her, has difficulty calming down, and shows reluctance to deal with other things.
A child's avoidant attachment to his mother We can understand what he is talking about as follows;
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There is insecurity that he can get an answer from his mother when he needs it.
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He does not want to share his feelings when he is with his mother.
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When a separation occurs and reunion occurs, he directs his attention to another focus as if nothing had happened, and does not make an effort to be close.
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They prioritize equality in their relationships,
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They approach crises positively instead of exhibiting negative approaches,
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They have effective and healthy communication skills,
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They can ensure continuity and establish satisfying relationships by feeling safe in their relationships,
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Lying, cheating, insecurity, jealousy, etc. in relationships. When there are problems, they prefer to talk about the problems.
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When the separation comes; As they prefer to get support from their social relationships rather than isolating themselves, they can cope with separation more easily.
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Although there is a need for closeness
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The feeling of anger and jealousy in people's relationships
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They constantly need the support of the people they are in a romantic relationship with,
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Lying, deceit, distrust in relationships, jealousy etc. When problems occur, they avoid talking and prefer to ignore existing problems.
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When separation comes; try to maintain their relationship somehow Because they have difficulty in making the decision to break up, the person they are with usually makes the decision to end the relationship.
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They can be maladaptive parties.
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They avoid conflict and solving problems in relationships,
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They do not want to establish closeness and trust with the person they are in a romantic relationship with,
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While they avoid solving problems, they also intensely avoid being abandoned.
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In relationships, lies, deception, distrust, jealousy, etc. When problems occur, they may move away from the person they are in a romantic relationship with and decide to end the relationship.
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When separation comes, they may experience more relief rather than sadness.
In the relationships of people with insecure attachment styles, although the feeling of trust cannot prevail, they experience difficulties in maintaining their relationships, intense anxiety about rejection and abandonment, and develop beliefs that they are unworthy of being loved and that they are worthless.
How Does the Secure Attachment Style Reflect on Relationships?
People with a secure attachment style;
How Does Anxious Ambivalent Attachment Style Reflect on Relationships?
In people with anxious and ambivalent attachment;
How Does the Avoidant Attachment Style Reflect on Relationships?
People with an avoidant attachment style;
Attachment styles start in the womb and continue to have an impact throughout life, and they can develop and change. You can get support from an expert regarding your attachment styles.
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