The effects of feeling emotionally safe and trusting extend to a wide range, from the decisions we make throughout our lives to our thoughts, behaviors, sense of responsibility, ability to empathize, and our communication with ourselves, people and other living things.
Especially in early childhood. How the sense of security is developed depends on some familial factors. It would be especially beneficial for parents who have difficulty with boundaries to spare time for themselves and try to answer these questions.
First of all, can you spare time for yourself as a parent? To what extent do you listen to your inner resources and needs?
Can you truly stay in the moment when spending time with your family, or are you in the past or the future? Do our concerns get in the way of enjoying the moment?
Do you really know the difference between setting limits and punishing and apply them in your life?
The limits set depending on your family structure and culture are for protection purposes, clear and consistent Or does it often change momentarily rather than focusing on need?
Can you really understand emotions? Or do your past childhood experiences come back in a way that disrupts your communication with your family?
Do you create space for experiencing negative emotions as well as positive emotions? What is your source of motivation to develop healthy emotional regulation skills for yourself and your family?
If you think your child is "stubborn" with you; It would be useful to review your limits. The more compassionate, understanding emotions, clear and consistent the boundaries are, the more your child will trust you and his environment, and will understand that the boundaries set are not interference with his needs, but measures taken to protect him. In this way, he will be able to develop the feeling of "I am safe". It should not be forgotten that children learn by trying. For this reason, this learning process will not occur immediately, learning will be internalized over time.
Now let's think a little; How much do you trust your relative(s) who always approach you consistently and clearly? Someone who listens to you without judgment, understands your feelings, but also improves your well-being. To what extent do you trust your relative(s) who talk to you or help you objectively, thinking about your situation? How would it make you feel to apply the suggestions and recommendations coming from this person(s)?
So, would you be more attracted to the help of a relative who determines his priorities according to his own needs, sometimes makes you feel that he accepts you, and sometimes displays a rejecting attitude? to himself?
This is exactly what your child expects… “I need adults who can meet my need for curiosity, discovery and learning, without judging me, without interfering with my emotions, by simply loving, accepting and protecting me.” …”
Remember; It is not possible to intervene in behavior without understanding the emotion. The way to understand emotion is to make time for yourself and nurture your inner resources (compassion, tolerance, empathy).
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