In my previous article, we talked about the importance of staying in therapy and continuity of treatment. This week I want to talk about Couples Therapy. The same shyness seen in individual therapy is also present in this area, but it manifests itself in slightly different ways. Usually one of the couples complains about not being able to persuade the other to come; or when it is brought by force, that individual's motivation becomes very low. One of the most important reasons for this is not accepting the problem.
For a relationship or marriage to work, the contribution of both parties is necessary. However, what we usually encounter in the clinical environment is; When a problem arises in a relationship, the parties blame each other and get into a dead end. We do not look for the guilty, faulty or problematic party in a relationship, and we encourage individuals who come to us not to do this. When they first come to apply for therapy, they usually express their wishes by saying 'the problem is not me, it is my wife' or 'my husband is the problem, you should fix it', and we tell them that both parties need to take responsibility and that it is difficult for us to work with them otherwise. Because, as I just mentioned, a relationship is run by two people and both parties need to make an effort for a healthy relationship.
In couple therapy, the couple is treated together as a system. We treat the problems faced by couples in the relationship process as symptoms. Just as when an individual arrives, he/she complains of symptoms such as unhappiness and insomnia; Likewise, in a couple, cheating can be given as an example of this. We can never treat this as if one party is guilty and the other party is the victim. If a couple experiencing infidelity comes to therapy, both parties must take responsibility for this. People have extramarital affairs for different reasons. There is generally a perception that there is sexual dissatisfaction or inadequacy, but one of the most common underlying reasons is anger. In addition, unmet emotional needs can lead to cheating.
This article about couples therapy will continue next week...
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