One of the most basic points in child education is that the behaviors that parents expect from their children should be exhibited by them and be a model for them. The role that children receive from their parents plays a role in the basis of their behavior in the face of various events.
Parental attitudes affect children's relationships with other people in adulthood, their behavior in professional and school life, their adaptability and choices. Again, one of the factors that affects the character traits of children is the parent's attitude towards the child, especially in the 0-6 age period. For this reason, the structure of communication that parents establish with their children, their behavioral styles, and the attitudes they show are of great importance.
Yavuzer (1998) says that different parental attitudes can be grouped under 6 headings. These attitudes are as follows;
OPRESSIVE AND AUTHORITARIAN ATTITUDE
Parents with an overly oppressive and authoritarian attitude usually constantly abuse their children. They show a criticizing, punishing and judging behavioral style. They do not see their children's efforts, but they take a critical and blaming attitude at the slightest mistake or mistake. There are many rules for them to follow and the child must obey these rules. The dominant and decision-making authority is always the parents. A child raised in this way creates an externally controlled personality. It may develop feelings of inferiority. They may become children who constantly cry and rebel. Children growing up in such an oppressive environment may develop an overly rebellious or overly submissive nature. Behavior and adaptation problems may occur, and they may not be able to express their feelings and thoughts easily.
LOOSE ATTITUDE (CHILD CENTRAL FAMILY)
Child Centrist families are often encountered in families with children over middle age or when the child is the only child growing up in a crowded group of adults. (Yavuzer, 1998) In such an environment, the child is in control. His wishes come first and other members of the family comply with these wishes unconditionally.
A child growing up in a child-centered family environment will develop dissatisfaction over time. Do whatever you want A child who does not learn the meaning of the word "no" will continue to increase his demands. Because from the early stages of his life, the child has developed the expectation that his every wish will be met and that his wishes are orders. In this case, he does not respect his parents, and if his wishes are not fulfilled, the dosage of his negative reactions increases as age increases. It becomes inevitable for a child who makes it a habit to get everything he wants done, to have problems later in life. He has difficulty adapting to social rules and feels entitled to break the prohibitions. The rules in living areas such as school and work become a burden for him and therefore he may experience failure.
UNBALANCED AND UNDETERMINED ATTITUDE
Imbalance and inconsistency can be seen in the difference of opinion between the parents, as well as in the variable behaviors of the mother or father. (Yavuzer, 1998)
Parents criticizing each other about the child in the presence of the child, One parent saying no to a request or behavior while the other parent says yes is an example of an unbalanced and indecisive attitude. The fact that only one parent pays attention to the rules set for the child, decisions are made by a single parent, and the distinction between good cop and bad cop between parents negatively affects the child's development.
Imbalance and indecision that may arise due to the personality of the mother or father. It can be seen as the parent saying yes or no or allowing or not allowing the child's behavior according to his/her own wishes and needs. For example, while the parent supports the child playing a loud musical instrument when he feels good, he gets angry when the child plays the same musical instrument when he feels tired/bad. Or, a mother/father who cannot get his/her words to listen to his/her child yelling at his/her child with a rising voice, hitting him/her, and immediately hugging him/her by apologizing can be given as an example of an unbalanced and indecisive attitude.
Children who grow up with such an attitude become unable to know how to behave under any circumstances. . They cannot predict which behavior is appropriate and which behavior is inappropriate. Because whether a behavior is appropriate or not depends on the mood of the parents rather than the behavior itself. this was In this case, the child becomes internally uneasy and may develop an unbalanced and unstable structure in the future.
INTERESTED AND INCOMPLETE ATTITUDE
Indifferent and indifferent attitude. An indifferent attitude means that the parents ignore the child's wishes and needs, prevent the child from receiving emotional satisfaction, and ignore and exclude the child and his actions. Such behaviors, which are considered emotional abuse, cause great harm to the child's socio-emotional development.
In a family environment where such attitudes continue, there is a communication gap between the child and his parents. The child constantly tries to express himself and get attention, but he cannot find a response. Studies have shown that indifferent and indifferent parental attitudes strengthen the child's tendency towards aggression. Due to the indifference of the parents, the child may harm the objects and people around him.
OVERPROTECTIVE ATTITUDE
Overprotective attitude is the parent's attitude towards the child. It means paying more attention and controlling than necessary. Behind this overprotectiveness, which mostly occurs in the mother-child relationship, lies the mother's emotional loneliness (Yavuzer, 1998). A mother with this attitude prevents the child from developing self-care skills that go parallel with his development. So much so that the child may turn into a child who eats from his mother's hand even at the age of 10, and may want to sleep with his mother in adolescence.
Children who grow up exposed to such an attitude become individuals who are dependent on other people in their adult lives, who cannot make their own decisions and who have not gained independence. They are in danger of transformation. Self-confidence and social development are damaged in children who are not allowed to make their own decisions and perform self-care skills. A sense of responsibility and awareness cannot develop.
ASSURING, SUPPORTIVE AND DEMOCRATIC ATTITUDE
Reassuring, supportive and democratic attitude is the most important factor in parents' It means being tolerant towards their children, supporting them, and allowing children to achieve what they desire in the way they wish, subject to some restrictions. (Yavuzer, 1998)
Parents with a democratic attitude They provide an environment where they can easily express their feelings and thoughts. If the family environment gives the child the opportunity to define his/her own self, it enables the child to mature in a healthy way.
As a result of the research, if parents use persuasion to control their children and have a supportive attitude, children experience a healthy psychosocial development. It has been observed that they respond more positively to parents' expectations. (Yavuzer, 1995)
Parents with this attitude clearly describe accepted and unacceptable behaviors and act consistently about them. They draw the necessary boundaries and set the child free within these boundaries. The child has the right to speak and is supported to express his/her feelings and opinions. He receives love and encouragement. In this way, the child's self-confidence develops and the child becomes an adult who is responsible, respectful of the rights and freedoms of others, able to define his own feelings and thoughts and does not have difficulty in expressing them.
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