Clients with borderline personality usually start therapy in their 20s and 30s because of separation anxiety, feelings of loneliness, emptiness, loss, depression, and anger control problems. They exalt or demean the people they associate with excessively. In other words, they use the "Division defense mechanism" in their lives. I can explain it like this; When the baby is born, there are many ego parts in his inner world. When the baby is 6 months old, good feelings go to one pole, and bad ones go to a pole. In other words, the baby goes on the bad side when his mother treats him badly, he feels bad. When the mother behaves well, she also gets on the good side. She cannot perceive her mother's good and bad qualities together. Because the baby sees the world through his mother's eyes. This division mechanism does not close in every child up to the age of 3, and this is a healthy condition. However, after the age of 3, this good and bad pole must unite. (That is, my mother has both positive and negative features, the child perceives this.) However, this division defense mechanism is not combined in people with borderline personality organization. Therefore, they either idealize or devalue the people in their lives.
People with borderline personality organization are not aware of their own feelings, but they understand the feelings of the other person very well. These people always want to feel good, and when they feel bad, they want to throw this bad feeling on the other person. In other words, they often use the defense mechanism called "projective identification". When they feel bad, they use another defense mechanism called "emotion suppression". In other words, a person may hurt himself, drive fast, eat excessively, watch TV series for hours away from the world, smoke and drink excessively in order to avoid bad negative emotion and not experience it.
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