As a clinical psychologist, I often have clients who come to my office to share their social anxiety (phobia) distress. As a therapist, I try to help them take steps to overcome their anxiety.
What is social anxiety?
It is normal to feel a little nervous and excited in some situations. For example, a little excitement before making an important presentation will keep you alive and positively affect your performance. However, for a person experiencing social anxiety, the communication and interactions required by daily life cause significant feelings of anxiety, fear and embarrassment. He has developed an intense and strong belief that everyone will evaluate, judge and criticize him. This belief pushes him to social avoidance and blocks his life.
Social Anxiety treatment
The most effective therapy method in the treatment of social anxiety is the cognitive behavioral method. I also help my clients with the techniques of this method. The main goal of this method is to identify the factors that reveal and trigger social anxiety and to help people cope with their anxiety intellectually and behaviorally. To explain this, the treatment proceeds in two arms:
1- Establishing a new way of thinking by enabling the person to perceive objectively whatever situations cause anxiety in the person,
2- Changing the person's behavior to this new thinking system. to make it appropriate.
Social anxiety therapy is a kind of “learning” process. As we learn and practice appropriate ways to cope with anxiety, the signals sent to the brain also change. The brain gradually detects this change and the person's social anxiety symptoms begin to disappear. Of course, the important point here is to take the necessary steps continuously and consistently regarding the situation(s) that create anxiety. If this happens, there will be a permanent change and the conditions that hinder the person will completely disappear.
If I try to explain with an example, in a group of 6-7 people, including strangers, I say, "What if I say something wrong, everyone will make fun of me?" The first step of the treatment is to take the thoughts and perspective of someone who has anxious thoughts such as "may pass" or "everyone is looking at me and examining me" to a neutral and objective point. The second arm is to protect the person from this situation. It is to confront him slowly and gradually and make him take steps. Our role as therapists is not to force the person excessively, but to create a treatment plan at his/her pace, in agreement with him/her, and to have a supportive attitude throughout the process. Like a traveling companion.
If you are the one experiencing this problem, know that there is light at the end of the tunnel, but there is no magic wand. Social anxiety keeps you from life and what you want to do, and prevents you from living freely and taking bold steps. No matter what you do, it's like a burden you always carry. Therefore, if you make a clear decision and set coping with social anxiety as the main agenda of your life, and if you progress step by step with your therapist, if you congratulate yourself for every improvement and approach yourself as a constructive friend, you can feel life in every aspect and open a brand new page in your life. Living your true potential without internal obstacles will bring you a much more fulfilling life.
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