You don't know how long you've been in traffic. The car in front is going slow. Moreover, he also occupied the left lane. You are very angry. You honk your horn and warn him with the flashlight, but it doesn't go away. You move to the middle lane with anger. You have important ground to catch up on. You are already late. Your phoneis ringing. It's your spouse calling. He's wondering if you've talked to the neighbor about your leaking bathroom ceiling for a while. “You were definitely going to call today?” At this moment, a car starts to squeeze you from behind. Within a few seconds, you find yourself raising your voice and angrily rebuffing your spouse.You realize that you are clenching your teeth. Suddenly, a slight palpitation begins, shortness of breath, and then you feel hot. What is all this happening? How did you lose your patience?
Nowadays, it is inevitable to encounter stressors at every stage of life. These stressors that we try to cope with with the genes inherited from our ancestors look quite different from the stressors they dealt with. Instead of running away from a wild animal or facing natural disasters almost every day, we are exposed to stressors such as work, school success, financial problems, and traffic. We try to manage time at every step. This being the case, how healthy our coping methods are determines how much we will be affected by these factors. We see that in cases where exposure to stress factors cannot be reduced, it is possible to better cope with the difficulties encountered and reduce physical and psychological damage by using individual coping methods correctly. In this sense, the concept of patience becomes important in terms of strengthening coping methods. Patience is the power to consciously endure in the face of difficulties. While being patient, we actively use emotional, cognitive and behavioral processes for problem solving. Therefore, we see that there are individual differences in managing patience. A mother complains; “My job is busy and stressful. I try to explain things to people all day long. I'm so tired when I come home. I can't be patient with my children. Lately I started yelling at them. How is it afterwards? You don't know, I regret it. Please help…”. Unfortunately, we cannot show our patience the most to our relatives. People we have no fear of losing... In fact, after a while, we start to get angry with them. Because they exhaust our patience... However, we forget that patience is closely related to personality structure. The personality structure of the individual indicates his/her potential patience. It seems easier to look for the problem outside. I can almost hear you say, "But he said this to me, treated me like that"... We see that individuals who are tolerant, understanding, and have a desire to communicate healthily, express themselves, and understand others have a more positive search for meaning in the face of difficult events. The type of patience and management style are affected by the meanings individuals attach to events and life in coping with troublesome events. However, another important point is that in this process where we are in contact with more events and people with the result of urbanization in modern times, the pleasures we fight for the most take up most of our time. Living with a focus on pleasure is at the center of our lives. While we aim only for happiness and try to get rid of all other negative emotions, we see that the successes we wish to gain in a short time, the desire to realize almost all our plans instantly, and instant gratifications do not actually make us happy in the long run. We bid farewell to our patience as we sacrifice it for our own pleasure, without even realizing it...
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