With dowry preparations, engagement rush and wedding rush, couples experience enough stress until the first night. During the wedding night, which has become a tradition, couples become stressed due to hearsay and unfounded situations. You should spend this day, which is called the first night or wedding night, as calmly and stress-free as possible, as it causes you to get stressed due to various hearsay misinformation. In order to take precautions against the stress and distress experienced on the wedding night, we received advice from Expert Psychologist Sex Therapist Naciye Tokaç to correct the psychology experienced on the first night. Here's what you need to know about the wedding night...
The desire for sexual intercourse, which is the most basic human instinct, is perhaps the most important element in the rapprochement of a man and a woman. While the two genders love each other with a bond of love, there is also an intense feeling of lust between them. This is the most precious, beautiful and cherishable feeling between two couples who love each other. Because if it is love that ensures their union, their sexual desire for each other also plays a big part in their continuation.
What should be done on the wedding night (first night)?
Every couple who loves each other wants to build a happy home and family. wants to have children. Although couples who want to continue their happiness by increasing their happiness through marriage face various difficulties from the moment they step into marriage, the biggest one that affects both couples is the fear of the first night. The fear of the first night, that is, the first time together. In fact, it can be thought why the first relationship would arouse fear among couples who love each other very much, but the first relationship is related to not knowing what will happen and is more a product of unconscious anxiety.
Do not listen to scary stories
If negative ideas such as emotional closeness and subsequent physical contact occur in the woman's mind during the preparation for sexual intercourse, such as that it will hurt a lot and that she will bleed a lot, the anxiety of not being able to do it will increase and it will become impossible to be together. In men, first night anxiety is mostly seen as not being able to get an erection and losing the erection. The main reason for this situation is excitement. In fact, for both men and women, the first night is filled with excitement and excitement. It may arouse fear.
It causes the man to be unable to have an erection
When we look at the factors that cause first night fear, for women; Not knowing what will happen, another reason is the frightening stories heard from others about how painful the first night is, and the person's own knowledge about sexuality, feelings, thoughts and perspective on the concept of virginity are important. For men; Anxiety about success is the psychological pressure he puts on himself, both from his environment and mostly from himself, about having a smooth first relationship. This causes the man to sometimes not be able to get an erection and sometimes to lose it quickly even if he has an erection.
The most important reason for first night fear is ignorance
If we talk about what can be done to prevent first night fear: First of all, without being together. Get real and accurate information about sexuality and sexual intercourse some time ago. For this, you can read a book or go to an expert to get information. Another issue is that you should remove from your mind the information you hear from those around you that the first intercourse is difficult, mostly based on personal experiences, which are false and negative experiences resulting from ignorance.
Sexual intercourse is also personal. Everyone experiences this experience with their own wishes, desires and knowledge. It will not be the same experience as you will have. Another reason is not knowing what will happen during sexual intercourse, that is, not knowing what kind of experience it will be, and it will be useful to read books and, more importantly, consult an expert on this subject and get the correct information.
The presence of a loving and patient wife will comfort the man in response to the erection problems he is experiencing, and it will be beneficial for the man to create the understanding of "it doesn't have to happen, we can try it when I feel better" instead of worrying about not being able to do it or succeeding.
Here, the woman needs to be patient with the man and be understanding about experiencing it at another time.
When the man and the woman become a couple, they should be able to talk and share every subject easily, so that this communication will be useful at the time of sexual intercourse. Sharing their emotions, thoughts and feelings with each other will make each other feel more comfortable and It will also increase their commitment to each other. It is not necessary for the first night to be held on the first night of marriage, it is also important for couples to be together whenever they feel close to each other.
Sometimes, it is observed that the individuals around the couple put pressure on the couple about the first union. Couples should completely separate themselves from the individuals around them and focus on the fact that this is their private life and that they can live it whenever and however they want.
When every couple who loves each other can show their love and communicate based on mutual understanding, there will be no problem they cannot overcome. If they cannot cope and overcome their fears themselves and time passes, then I recommend getting professional support.
Sexual positions to avoid on the first night
On the wedding night (first night), if it is the first time you have sexual intercourse If it is going to happen, sexual positions must be taken into consideration. Otherwise, since it will be the woman's first intercourse, sexual intercourse may not occur or may cause more pain. For this reason, it is necessary to avoid certain sexual positions on the first night (wedding).
Leg on the shoulder position
Leg on the shoulder position can be challenging for the woman. Although this position is the position where sexual injuries occur the least, it is one of the positions that women do not like during and after the first sexual intercourse. The position where men achieve the most sexual pleasure is known as the leg-on-shoulder position. However, it is not recommended for the first night.
Woman on top, man on bottom
This position is one of the positions that should be avoided on the first night (wedding). This sexual position is the position with the highest number of injuries. We do not recommend this position, where penis fractures are most common, especially for those who will try it on the first night.
Sexual positions known to be safe
We have researched for you the positions that should be avoided on the first night (wedding night) as well as the ones that may be safe. . In such cases, if the man has had sexual intercourse, positions in which he should be in control should be tried. The positions that the experienced party will try will allow for easier sexual intercourse. It helps.
Missionary
In this position, the man is completely in control. For that reason, if the man is experienced and the woman has not had sexual intercourse before, such positions should be tried.
Dogi
Again, in this position, as in missionary, the man is in control. It is known that intercourse is more comfortable and easier in this position.
Spoon
Couples are in harmony in the spoon position. Sexual intercourse can be performed in a controlled and comfortable manner for both men and women.
Read: 0
