Lack of self-confidence is defined as a person's negative thoughts about himself. This may occur depending on the outcome of any event, or it may simply depend on how a person thinks about himself. According to the psychoanalysis approach; It is necessary to go into the childhood of the person experiencing the problem and look at the developmental stages (oral, anal, phallic, uterine period).
If we look at it from a behavioral approach - lack of self-confidence occurs as a result of learning. That is, the person does not receive the correct reward for his behavior, or he may be punished, resulting in incorrect conditioning. The role of family is very big here too. From an early age, you should convey to the child their attitudes correctly, explain why they punish and reward, and not allow them to think "I am not loved". On the contrary, it is necessary to convey and teach them the mistakes. For example, if you shout at the child, yell at him or beat him, the child will perceive that he is not loved and will not even guess why he is being punished. Because if there was something he could predict, he wouldn't act like that anyway. Instead, you need to explain everything to your child in detail; If you say to a child who kicks his friend, "I was upset by your behavior, I did not find what you did right, I would be upset if they did the same to you, now his mother will be upset too, let's go together and apologize" - the child will gain self-confidence and will not exhibit inappropriate behavior. But it is always necessary to be consistent for this theory.
If we look at the cognitive-behavioral approach, lack of self-confidence can be attributed to certain characteristics of the person (nose, weight, beauty, hair, height, being unsuccessful, laziness). and.s) develops from the accompanying negative thoughts. This is where people's thoughts about themselves, what others think about them, and their thoughts and beliefs about their future come into play. The important point here is the identity the person wants to be (Ideal self) and the self he thinks he is. The greater the contrast, the greater the lack of self-confidence. In such cases, the person develops negative beliefs about himself, which does not allow him to achieve his goals. As a result, people become critical of themselves, punish themselves, and do not even see their successes. er and this puts them in a dead end.
Since I specialize in CBT, I would like to give you tips on how you can help yourself in terms of CBT. Of course, if you have serious problems, do not neglect your expert opinions.
Take your pen and paper and let's get started.
1. Create a list by identifying your negative thought(s) – for example; I'm inadequate, I'm not good enough, I'm not beautiful, no one loves me, I hate myself, I'm a failure, etc.
2. Choose one of the negative thoughts you wrote on paper and replace it with a positive thought. For example; Instead of saying "I am unsuccessful", if I actually worked on this issue in this way, I could be successful. Or instead of saying "I'm overweight, that's why no one likes me", I decided, "From today onwards, I will research how to eat right."
3. When your brain starts thinking negatively, try to think of positive ones instead of pushing negative thoughts out of your mind. Practice this anytime, anywhere. Because the more we make room in our brain for positive thoughts instead of negative ones, over time our brain will automatically make us think positively.
4. Find an environment that will support you positively. Get close to your family, friends, anyone who is willing to keep you positive, and stay as far away as possible from those who do the opposite.
5. Eliminate anything that makes you think negatively. You should stop thinking about things that will put you in this situation.
6. Discover your own talent. Everyone has something they're good at, it's time to discover it in yourself. Music, dance, writing, art, reading... Do things that will entertain and develop you.
7. Be proud of yourself! Just being proud of your talent is not enough. Think about the abilities that enhance your personality; I want you to note your sense of humor, your sense of compassion, your ability to listen, your ability to deal with stress...as you go deeper, you'll be surprised yourself at how talented you actually are.
8. Believe the praise for your title and let it make you happy. The praises we have received so far are also included in our paper. Can you write in a column?
9. Look at yourself in the mirror and smile. According to "Facial feedback theory" research, when a person looks at himself in the mirror and smiles, the brain evokes certain emotions. So, the more you look at yourself in the mirror and smile every day, the more at peace you will be with yourself and the happier you will feel.
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