Adolescence is a transition period. We adults also experience it at some point. As a family, we want our child to receive a good education, acquire good behavior and have a good future.
So, what do they want from us adults? How they want to be treated. Have you ever thought about it?
Appreciate
Take interest in what your teenager does. Try to also see opportunities where you can truly appreciate it. Each child is a different individual and should be appreciated for their own characteristics.
Do not compare
Never compare with their siblings or relatives. Each child is a different individual and should be appreciated for his/her own characteristics.
Do not constantly rant
Do not constantly lecture and grumble. "When I was your age." Avoid giving advice that starts with . You probably had more in common with him than you thought when you were his age!
Be careful with your behavior
Do not humiliate or insult your teenager, especially in front of people outside the family. Don't make threats. Be patient.
Be prepared to be criticized
Be prepared to be the target of criticism, that is, to be criticized by saying that you are the reason for all the problems and difficulties he experiences, and that you do not allow him to grow and have fun. .
Do not give up on your child
Do not let most of these criticisms reach your heart. And don't give up on your child. Teenagers actually watch, listen and learn much more than you think. Let him know that he is important to you.
His mood can change constantly
At this age, it is partly due to hormonal changes and partly a reaction to the anxiety that is so common during this period. It is perfectly normal to experience rapid and sometimes extreme changes in mood. Try to understand these.
Separate the behavior from the child
Do not confuse the thing that bothers you with the person who does it. There will be times when you become angry or upset about your teenager's behavior. But that doesn't mean your love is over . In fact, it probably means the exact opposite: that you care about him. Try to focus your anger on your child's behavior, not on his whole person.
Spend time
Make sure to spend time together. If you think you don't have time, have short conversations on any topic. Take time to do something your child loves together. Adolescents who spend time with their families become more attached to and trust their families. Children who like to spend time with their families always tell their families about any problems first.
Listen to him/her
When he wants to tell you something, even if it is unimportant, listen carefully. Directing spouses to each other with expressions such as "tell your father" or "tell your mother" may demoralize the adolescent and cause him/her not to talk about his/her problem again. Take time to talk. Give your child a time during the day when he can reach you whenever he wants.
Try not to act judgmental, defensive or negative when your child is trying to tell you something or answer a question you ask. Don't interrupt him, don't correct his sentence, or try to do anything else at that moment. All of this signals that you're not really interested. Trust and respect each other. Encourage all family members to respect each other.
Show compassion
Don't assume your teenager doesn't want you to hug him. Ask how he feels comfortable and show that you continue to love him through your words, tone of voice, and body language. Don't assume that your children know how much you love them, tell them that.
Don't Be Selfish
Regardless of your child's age, your most important duty is to be warm, generous, and consider others' feelings. Being a parent who understands and gives importance to this. Children who live in an unselfish and generous family develop a sense that the world is basically a safe place. These children see no threat. If you provide an environment full of care, compassion and care, the selfless personality structure will develop naturally.
Set an example
You should set an example with your behavior. Always be consistent with your child n. As spouses, do not argue in front of your children. Don't insult each other. Don't act angry.
Know his friends
One of our most basic duties as parents is to know who our child is friends with. Go to his school from time to time and meet with his teachers. Try to get to know their friends and their families. If necessary, meet as families and get to know each other.
Do not despair
Do not despair because you cannot communicate adequately even though you think you have done your best. Sometimes behaviors do not change immediately, it takes time.
Discipline
Applying discipline definitely does not mean punishing the child. Punishment focuses on what the adolescent child is doing at the moment, not on what he should do in the future.
Discipline focuses on what he should do in the future. Punishment often involves punishments or restrictions that have no connection to the misbehavior.
Discipline, on the other hand, is linked to the misbehavior and teaches the adolescent to be more responsible for his behavior or actions. Punishing puts the responsibility for misbehavior on the parents rather than the adolescent. Discipline helps the adolescent develop his own rules and learn to act more responsibly, especially in the absence of parents.
Punishment is about making the adolescent "pay the price" for the mistake he made. Discipline is about teaching the adolescent to accept the natural or logical consequences of his misbehavior. Explain your limits, rules, and expectations. Make sure these are clear. You may need to remind your teenager about the rule from time to time.
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