“You always do this anyway, you don't think about me.”
“You already…”
Marriage; It means that individuals from two different cultures, social environments and families suddenly share the same house and share a life together. In other words, the established family, a new order, a new common sharing and the fact that everything is new in the living space can cause anxiety in the person. Due to the habits brought from the past, both Both parties may want to continue their old habits in order to feel safer in this new order. This is due to the person not wanting to give up their old order. This situation may even turn into competition between spouses.
Couples want to reflect their habits to their newly established family structure and feel more comfortable. They want to feel safe. In case of decision making on important and unimportant issues, instead of coming to a common point, they can put pressure on the decisions they want to be valid. After a while, the problem ceases to be a competition and turns into an argument about who is right and who is wrong, and there is no winner in this war of rightness. This power struggle affects the emotional balance of couples. While it prevents them from establishing bonds, it also disrupts the harmony between them.
In fact, the basis of marriage is communication and conflicts of ideas. You read it right, thinking of a marriage that does not include conflicts of ideas, dreaming of it and starting a relationship with this aim is the biggest mistake made in marriage. Spouses cannot be expected to agree on everything. However, it is quite tiring and exhausting when every disagreement between them ends in conflict. Conflicts can be resolved more easily if there is a basic consensus between spouses. As the relationship develops over the years, a common perspective and understanding on issues such as money, parenting, and responsibility is expected to develop between couples. The key for couples to have a basic common view is their willingness and effort to show agreement on this issue. Harmony between couples will occur through these differences of opinion and mutual agreement on them.However, the important thing is that couples listen to each other's ideas and think about these ideas.
In addition, spouses who start living in the same house get to know each other more closely. They find the opportunity. They enter the process of analyzing each other's habits, habits, characters and personalities. The idea that everything will be perfect, as in the dating times, becomes real with the responsibilities that come with living in the same house. Spouses have started to learn to live with each other. In order to learn to live together;
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You must improve your problem-solving skills,
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You should be careful not to spoil your sincerity and sincerity towards your spouse,
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You should also learn to be friends with your spouse before becoming lovers,
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You should know how to make decisions together,
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You should be able to protect your ideals about life and the future,
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You should be able to protect each other's Keeping in mind that you come from different family environments, you should know that it may take time to get used to living together and you need to make an effort for this.
The purpose of marriage is not a power struggle; To share in common and develop mutually. Rather than being a difficult situation to resolve in your relationship, you can consider conflict of ideas as an opportunity to look at events from different perspectives that you can chat with and resolve. You should organize your conflicts of ideas within the boundaries of your newly established family according to your new family system; you should evaluate conflicts of ideas in a way that will develop and nourish your relationship.
Also; If you feel negative emotions such as inadequacy, dissatisfaction and lack of resolution in your family relationship, you should seek professional help from a marriage or family counselor. If marriage is neglected for a long time and the more negative experiences there are, the possibility of establishing a healthy, happy family will decrease. The end of the relationship will be an inevitable outcome. Intervening and taking precautions for problems in marriage through early diagnosis can prevent many negative events that may be difficult to repair in the future.
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