“I cannot forget the events I experienced in the past”
“When I am happiest, my past comes to my mind and I feel bad”
If you are one of those who say, “I am stuck in my past, I cannot forgive what happened”, this article is for you. ...
The bad events we experienced in the past are not easily erased from our minds. In fact, “trying to forget” these events causes us to remember them more. It is even possible to talk about an "obsession disease" if these events make us lose sleep at night, disrupt our daily functionality, or make it difficult for us to focus on the "moment".
Remembering bad events in the past can also cause anger, grudge, guilt, regret, sadness. It causes many negative emotions to visit us.
It must be admitted that at every moment of life, we will definitely encounter bad surprises and events that will create negative emotions in us. If we can't prevent bad situations from happening, what can we do? First of all, I must say that what is important is not the “event itself” but how we “perceive” it. After all, all kinds of bad experiences not only leave deep and painful scars on us, but also strengthen us. In place of a building destroyed in an earthquake, a much stronger house is erected than the collapsed house. This newly built house is now ready for future earthquakes. That's how life is, the pain we experience teaches us lessons and helps us not make the same mistakes again. It paves the way for us to become more mature, more upright and experienced.
How do we get over these pains and continue our daily lives without getting stuck?
-The first stage is what we experience. It starts with accepting the event. Accepting does not mean approving. To accept; It also means taking responsibility for mistakes, making peace with life, maturing, and being prepared for bad surprises. Since it is not possible to go back and change the event again; Acceptance makes us feel better and connects us with reality.
-The second thing we will do is to regulate our perceptions about the event. We need to evaluate the event with our state at the time of the event, our age, our environment, and our experiences. “The best thing to do at that time was divorce”&nb to think as sp; It causes you to interpret the situation more realistically and not to be unfair to yourself.
-The next step is to think about the concept of "control". If you have suffered from a situation that you cannot control (being hit by a car while walking on the sidewalk). etc.), you may think that the responsibility and fault are not yours, and that it is difficult to gain control over life.
If you have difficulty in doing all these steps or feel unable to do it, immediately get help from an expert and face your past pains.
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