We have been married for about two years, we are at my mother's almost 4 days a week. I can't start the day without calling him every morning. We call at least 3 times a day. After a while, I realized that I started telling everything that happened between my wife and me to my mother, as if we were on a live broadcast. At first, I liked this very much, and it made it easier for me. My wife would also come after work, and sometimes when we got sleepy, we would not go home and stay there.
In the last few months, my wife and I have been fighting a lot, and a sexual coldness has started between us. My wife blames my mother for most of our fights. . Every time we fight, my mother says, "Come and get a divorce, my daughter." I left the house twice, and this time I said, "What will the neighbors say, won't they say their daughter couldn't manage a marriage?" “Says she.
I don't know what to do anymore. Should I make my mother or my wife happy? What should I do, doctor?
Do not condemn your children to your own dilemmas!!!
Every family has its own balance. As long as family members play their assigned roles, there will be no problem. However, unfortunately, it is almost impossible for children to rise to adulthood in families that live interdependently, where the problematic family member hides, where one side is poor and suffering, remains in the victim role, and the other side is selfish, cold or oppressive. Or if the first child of women who are sexually starved is a boy, they choose a companion in the role of husband, and if their first child is a girl, they choose a companion in the role of friend. The fact that the child who has taken on this role wants to move away from home or get married one day and start their own family disrupts the balance of dependent families.
In this case, they constantly put secret pressure on their children, creating a feeling of guilt. Children who are crushed under the feeling of guilt, in order to protect themselves against this feeling, either allow their parents to be right in all disputes or hide behind alcohol or drugs to escape this feeling. The worst part is that while trying to escape from an addicted relationship, they move towards another addicted relationship.
You know that your children are now adults, they have their own lives, Accept that they are old enough to start their own families, let it be important what they feel, not how you feel, do not condemn your children to your own predicaments! Let them live their own lives freely, without feeling guilty…
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