Dear parents, we form our identity through learning at every moment of our lives. From the moment we are born, there are certain achievements and steps we must overcome for each age period. If we cannot pass these steps correctly and healthily, we may have to experience various difficulties in our adult lives. For children who complete the attachment phase within the first 2 years after birth, the next step is to gain INDEPENDENCE. Gradually realizing that he is not a whole with his mother, the child begins to take action to explore his environment and show his independence. Children who want to do many things themselves can be persistent and stubborn, and may throw tantrums when they don't get what they want. Although children's vocabulary begins to develop rapidly during this period, the words you will hear most from them will be 'no', 'I don't want', 'I won't'. So, what can you, parents, do to help your children spend this period in a healthy way?
First of all, remember that this is not just a behavioral problem in your child. All children at this age value their sense of independence, and when they cannot achieve it, they may become stubborn with you and have fits of anger and crying. Many children at this age behave this way and this process is NATURAL and TEMPORARY.
The reversals and anger shown by the child should be ignored as much as possible. I can almost hear parents saying, "But the more he gets angry and shouts, the more angry I get." Remember that if you get angry and start shouting at your child's anger, instead of extinguishing the incident, you will only escalate it to a situation with more anger and more screaming. In such a situation, it will often be useful to draw the child's attention from the situation that creates tension to another subject.
Your child may ask you to close the already open door by saying 'I will ring the doorbell!' He is very intense during this period when he wants to accomplish something alone. Families should be careful not to suppress this desire of the child. You should support and appreciate your child's desire to succeed as much as possible. ATTENTION! While doing this You must make sure that they do not exceed any limit violations. If you remain silent and do not react to your child who violates the rules at home because he wants to, in order to support his independence, your child will not be able to learn where to stand. In order for children to learn this, clear and logical rules should be set and the reason for the rules should be explained to children. It will be enough to say to the child who leaves his pencils on the ground and does not pick them up: 'Don't leave my crayons on the floor, their tips may break if someone steps on them.'
Opportunities should be given to enable them to establish Cause-Effect relationships. All people do most of the things they do for a reason, a purpose. Children at this age do not yet know how to establish a cause and effect relationship. Children should be given examples of how they can establish cause-effect relationships. Children should be given the opportunity to establish this relationship with examples such as 'The car went forward because we pushed it from behind.' 'The baby talked because we pressed the button.'
Encourage children to make their own choices. Giving children opportunities in the decision-making stages will be an important step in encouraging them to take responsibility. For example, you can start by giving them the opportunity to dress. 'Do you want to wear your green sweater or your black sweater?'
Before ending the article, I would like to make a reminder to you, dear parents. Every person has some innate temperament characteristics. We can detect these features from the first week of birth. We can have an idea about the basic characteristics of children from their sleep, their reactions to strangers, and their reactions to noise. Every child's temperament is different. Therefore, the most important thing to pay attention to is not to compare your children with other children. If you have any problems that worry you or bother you, be sure to seek advice from an expert. Stay with health and love…
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