Dear clients, the fear of being deceived is a common but often unshared situation. While studies conducted in big cities show that almost 5 out of every 10 men and 4 out of every 10 women in our country have cheated at least once, I think it does not seem appropriate to immediately call the "fear of being cheated on" paranoia or an illness. However, getting stuck in this situation for no apparent reason or sabotaging the current relationship due to the trauma of being cheated on in the past can be described as a morbid situation. Or if you have a fear of being deceived for no reason, this may be related to the potential for deception reflected from you.
So what should be done about the fear of being deceived? A serious analysis and suggestions from a marriage therapist seem to be an ideal solution. In this analysis, issues such as whether the situation is caused by you, whether the distance in marriage is a problem, attachment styles, reflections of past traumas, communication errors, remaining an individual in the center and in the relationship are researched and studied.
If I had to give practical suggestions; I would like to start with a sentence that I love very much; “Trust your relationship, not your spouse”. Your spouse or you may be great as a person, but if your marriage model is problematic and you are not happy, it will be difficult for you to trust your spouse or yourself. Abandoning a good person is often easier than abandoning a good relationship.
Here are the risk factors related to cheating that I want you to review regarding your relationship;
- If you are in the role of your partner's mother or father, or if you act like their child and do not have lover energy, you are at risk.
-You are at risk if you have serious sexual problems or incompatibility.
-You are at risk if you come from very different family and marriage models and impose your own model on your partner.
-If you are at different levels of personal development and together If you are resistant to development, you are at risk.
-If you cannot have me in us and you overwhelm each other, you are at risk. Remember, a person who is centered and does not act dependent is always perceived as more attractive. Constantly attacking your spouse, trying to control him, trying to do everything together; 3un It may end with the intervention of a third person.
-If you have a weak marriage and family repertoire, have a fear of intimacy or have a problem showing interest, you are at risk.
-If there are no common interests and you have different opinions about the future. If you are looking at different directions, you are at risk.
-If you or your spouse view marriage only as a sacred, monotonous institution and if you are looking for movement and excitement outside, you are at risk.
-Big family culture with nuclear family boundaries. If you cannot compromise between the two, you are at risk.
Except for exceptional cases (severe personality problems or psychiatric conditions), reducing the fear of cheating can be possible with a good marriage analysis and reducing the risks.
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