“I ask about the knowledge of wisdom, you say that I did not steal the rug from the school…”
You know, we have watched movies, we have watched theater plays, we have witnessed it ourselves, don't misunderstand
scenes... In Turkish theater And this misunderstanding has once been the subject of one of the most used scenarios in cinema. Take away the misunderstandings from the movies of a period,
there's not much left. Because we are so involved in life that we say "Oh, you misunderstood me!", or even
we extend it a little further: "Oh, you misunderstood me!" In fact, sometimes we can't stop putting a very stupid expression at the beginning of our speech: "If you don't misunderstand, I will tell you something." So
We say to the other person, you are an idiot, brother, please do not misunderstand me. Even if the person in front of us is an idiot
even if he is not an idiot, he will be offended by this incident and will not be able to understand whether there is a hidden message underneath what is being said while listening
while concentrating on it. Whether he understands it or not, "Am I stupid?" He will say.
The subject we will focus on is a subject that everyone knows a lot(!) but no one knows how much.
I am aware that I am in one of the most dangerous lanes for a writer. I'm careful. While reading
-no offense but(!)- if you try to look for a calf under the article, there is nothing I can do. [Author's
note: now you talk about making the language understandable, but what are you doing? Square brackets,.. Exclamation marks in brackets
(indicating that the word has the opposite meaning) We put it between two dashes or two commas
... And brother, if you don't know the expression, learn it, there is no such thing as "looking for a calf under the text",
Like "you look for a calf under an ox..." If you have just started reading, please this article is not for you. Please leave it, do something else
. You don't have time to waste reading this article.]
I'm going to tell a joke now, but what if our female readers are offended by this? Or the person mentioned in the joke... Do you think I'm telling this joke in vain? Well, if it doesn't have an educational aspect? u
What joke will I tell? Come on, if he doesn't sit on the subject with "….cuk"... Come on, if no one laughs... Anyway
Let me tell you, but if you know, I won't tell you, okay? Anyway, this is the joke. Let me tell you this joke before it turns into a weird thing that will make me laugh and those who read it will look at me with ignorant ignorance. Imagine that a joke is about to be told and these things happen. What do you do, friends?
Fortunately, I don't start this joke like this.
I don't know if a joke will follow this example, but...
"The husband and wife were having problems at home and They were punishing each other with not speaking. Suddenly
the man remembered that his wife had to wake him up the next day because she had a business flight at 5:00 in the morning
In order not to be the first to break the silence and lose it, he wrote "Please wake me up at 5:00 in the morning" on a piece of paper and left the note where his wife could find it. The next morning, the man woke up only to realize that it was 9:00 a.m. and that he had missed his flight. He was very angry, and just as he was about to ask why his wife didn't wake him up, he found a piece of paper next to the bed. On paper it says 'It's 5:00, wake up!' It was written”
DO YOU WANT TO GET RID OF ALL THESE COMMUNICATION BREAKS?
No human being can see the world in the same way as another human being, perception is different for each human being. If we didn't have common denominators, we wouldn't be facing a serious communication problem. Because if there is no such thing as communication
, there is no such thing as a communication problem. Every person has his/her own unique life model. The life model is what allows us to attribute meaning to what we encounter. It is our LIFE MODEL that tells us what is
really important, what should be considered or what should be ignored
why people do what they do, which options are best for us
.
It is not possible to experience life directly, we experience its subjective reflection.
We transform what we see, hear and feel into thoughts or interpretations.
Our opinion about life is our reality.
We help people understand each other. We can talk about three obstacles:
1. Preventing people from understanding your model
2. Keeping your life model limited
3. Distorting your life model
Some people are closed boxes, they have a lot to hide. In their opinion, the things they should not say
are more than the things they can say, they have experienced a love, there is no greater love in the world
than their love. That's why they can't explain it. Which words are enough to describe that sublime feeling?... That's why they prevent you from understanding them. You can overcome this problem by asking sensitive questions that make it easier for you to understand, without offending the other person. Because, when people who think that everything will become simpler when they are understood
(most of the time the problems are really simple anyway)
know that they are trying to prevent you from understanding, limit what they say, or distort
They will do their best for you. In fact, it is not very difficult to understand such people.
Ask questions to eliminate ambiguity at the points you think you need to understand. When asking questions
Avoid questions that he believes will simplify or simplify what he is talking about.
So many serious mistakes are made in the name of accuracy, honesty and not being political in communication. You
avoid these.
We can talk about four important language patterns that make it difficult for us to understand:
1. What is not said
2. Indefinite pronouns
3. Indefinite verbs
4. Abstractions
When communicating, you can ask about the topic that you think is not mentioned: Let's say to someone who says that he is confused
; We can ask about what he is confused about or who he is confused about.
The speaker will use indefinite pronouns in order not to get confused. During communication
he has a lot of things he wants to say, but he thinks you will misunderstand or be offended,
you will be disturbed, if the negativity he is talking about is about someone from your circle
will also keep these pronouns indefinite. What we will do in this situation is actually not difficult at all.
Am For someone who says "this is injustice", we solve the problem when we ask what the injustice is and who it is about.
Uncertainties in the verbs used during communication will also prevent the understanding of the language. “I grew up last
year.” When someone says this, we encounter many uncertainties such as how he grew up, whether he grew taller or shorter, in terms of size
3
or in terms of overcoming problems.
We may perceive any of these and be mistaken about the field in which it grows.
If we do not want to be mistaken, we ask. In what field did you grow up, what do you mean by growing up?
Abstractions sometimes make communication difficult.
The person who will make it difficult for you to understand will make two types of abstractions: The first is by using vague nouns
Secondly, by turning verbs into nouns. Your spouse tells you, “The excitement is over.” If he says, he is making an abstraction by using an indefinite noun
. You ask him: "What is something that used to excite you and doesn't anymore?" By asking a question, you concretize the problem. “Today was full of rejection
for me.” If someone who says "is making an abstraction by making the verb 'reject' a noun (with the infinitive form)
you ask him/her: "In what way were you rejected throughout the day?" ask. The answers you will get will be very useful.
Sometimes "excesses", sometimes "imposed limits", sometimes "imposed values" change our lives
will force it. “I'm always in pain.” Your spouse who says is in extremism, you can ask questions to deduce the meaning in this sentence from extremity
. “I have to do whatever my boss says.” A friend of yours who says:
has pushed himself into an imposed limit. You may ask: What happens if you don't do what your boss says? A friend of yours who says politicians are stupid is a victim of a value he/she imposes. You can help by asking whether there are any politicians who are not idiots, or how he came to the conclusion that politicians are idiots.
We should all question the distortions in our life pattern:
1. Sometimes we can make cause and effect mistakes.
2. Sometimes the other person We may think we can read his mind.
3. Our assumptions are our indispensables.
We can make the language understandable by taking these three points into consideration.
If we want to make the language understandable, we must question the distortions in our life model. We should not ignore that we can sometimes make cause -
effect mistakes. We must give up the arrogance that we can read the other person's mind
. We must not forget that our assumptions can sometimes mislead us.
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