In the natural process of life, getting married and having children are among the important life events that make individuals happy. In every family as a whole, there are certain stressful events and periods that depend on the family system or each family member going through certain developmental stages. The child's participation in the family is one of the most important transition periods in the family's life. The process, which begins with the decision to give birth to a child for the family, requires the rearrangement of roles in the family after birth, the creation of new routines and adaptation to changes in many other areas. The complement of being a family often means having children. Spouses want to have children for various reasons, sometimes as a product of their marriage, sometimes for the sustainability of the family. Couples start dreaming about this issue with the idea of having children. They base these dreams on the basis of a "perfect", "healthy" and "normal" child. When spouses have children, they enter a new phase in the family life cycle, and this is an additional stressful situation. When spouses have children, they also assume parenting responsibilities. Having a child affects couples' lifestyles, marital relationships, the positions of family members and, accordingly, their individual lives, and causes parenting stress. Therefore, the birth of a child marks the beginning of a new turning point in the family's life. It imposes new roles on mothers and fathers and requires them to change their routines. He stated that the birth of a child requires adaptation to many changes, problems and a new life in the family. The developmental stages of the family should also be considered in parallel with the developmental stages of the child. However, the birth and development of children with different characteristics cause many changes in families. Many families want to have children to crown their marriage. The mother's receiving the news of her pregnancy is a factor that fills the family with joy. During this period, the mother creates a dream of the child to be born in her mind. In this dream, the mother develops the perception of a perfect child by being influenced by the expectations of herself, her spouse, her relatives, her immediate environment and social life. On the other hand, there may be concern that expectations will not come true, but the family does not want to think about this possibility. Defeat to family With the understanding that a baby will join, the first foundations of relationships between siblings begin to be laid while the baby is in the womb, before it is born. In this case, parental attitudes and the preparation of the first child regarding the future of a new sibling are important in terms of his first reaction to his sibling. However, the initial reaction may turn from joy to anger after the first week. How much and what kind of preparation is required depends on the child's personality, age and family circumstances. Even if no preparation is made, children notice the situation from conversations at home, changes and the babies around them, and may experience anxiety because they cannot make sense of these changes (Başar 1994, Dunn 1995). For every family, the process of waiting for a baby is a period when dreams are made about that baby and the possibility of the baby being disabled is usually not considered. All preparations are for a normal baby. Realizing that the baby has a disability causes many families to experience complex emotions. Learning that a child is disabled is a highly stressful event, regardless of the degree of disability (Köksal 2011). The birth of a disabled baby brings with it intense emotions and concerns, along with the destruction of all the positive expectations and dreams of the family. The birth of a disabled child in the family is a situation that negatively affects the lives, emotions, thoughts and behaviors of the members. With the birth of a disabled child, some changes are observed in family life. After birth, parents do not know what to do, where to go, who to say, what to ask, and they begin to flounder. They encounter questions about what the disability is like anytime and anywhere in society. In this case, parents must first inform and explain to their non-disabled children, elders of the family, close friends and neighbors, if any. Because sharing with people they constantly interact with will make parents feel comfortable and reassure them. The way the child's disability is first disclosed to the family and the information given play an important role in whether the family experiences this shock more lightly or severely, and in their acceptance of the child's condition in the future. Because parents' acceptance of the reality of a disabled child is the only way to achieve the situation. It is not easy to adapt properly and rearrange one's life according to this reality (Bayhan and Metin 1992).
According to Wolstenbenger, there are three types of crises caused by the first news. Wolstenberger stated that after the mentally disabled child joins the family, parents experience the first crisis when they learn that their child is disabled; The second crisis is when they need to reconsider their expectations for the disabled child; They state that they are experiencing the third crisis while coping with the problems they encounter every day (Duman 1995). These are:
Innovation crisis: The family's self-concept is the result of changes in the family and its future. This is not just a reaction to intellectual disability. It is also a response to a change in one's circumstances. The innovation crisis is experienced briefly and the family begins to face other stresses after overcoming the initial shock.
Personal Values Crisis: Many people want to achieve the ideal of competition and success. Personal values crises occur due to the emergence of a situation that develops with these values.
Reality Crisis: In this crisis, financial concerns, limited competence of the child in having a profession, excessive time to be spent on child care, etc. Many concrete realities emerge that the family of a disabled child will encounter, such as.
The role of being the parent of a child with different characteristics is not a role that mothers and fathers choose themselves, no mother and father prepare themselves for this role. In general, families see their children as a work of art that will realize their own thoughts, dreams and goals. The birth of each child causes changes in family life. Accordingly, since the developmental stages of the family and the child's development continue in parallel, these changes are acceptable in the family. However, the developmental stages of mentally disabled children are slower and sometimes quite late compared to normal and healthy children. Having a mentally disabled child affects the developmental stages of the family more than healthy children. The emotional strain experienced by families of disabled babies, not being able to obtain sufficient information about the child's condition, difficulty in explaining the child's condition to others, and the child's disability. Hand-related behavioral and health problems, the necessity of seeing many specialists regarding treatment and education, efforts to find appropriate education, the need for more time, money and energy, and concerns about the child's future are important causes of stress for families. This stress they experience causes parents to develop attitudes such as not being able to communicate effectively with their children, having unrealistic expectations about their children, meeting only the physical needs of the child while ignoring their emotional needs, and even rejecting the child (Küçüker 1993).
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