We call the parents helicopter parents, who control their children's every move, do not consider them as separate individuals from themselves, and do not allow their children to separate. helicopter parents; They become propellers around the child like a helicopter, their expectations are quite high, they have a perfectionist nature and they exhibit attitudes such as making decisions instead of the child.
There are many factors underlying these attitudes of parents. Parents who approach what we call helicopter parenting fear their children will fail too much, and this thought worries them too much. Parents have been exposed to traumatic or negative experiences in their childhood and they do not want the child to experience negative things because they have experienced negative experiences themselves, they try to control both their children, their environment, and even their children's emotions and behaviors, and sometimes suppress them. Similarly, they want my child to have a good profession, to be in a certain status, to be in an economically advantageous class. In addition to all these, people are very perfectionist, they want everything to be the best, the most beautiful, the most successful and the smartest. There are many "en" patterns in their discourses and thoughts, all good adjectives and these adjectives want to be wide. These rules apply to their children as well as themselves and they never admit mistakes. They generally think in black and white, and intermediate colors, grays are absent in their lives. For such parents, their children are either good or bad. They do not give their children the opportunity to learn by experience.
Helicopter parents use the phrase "we" a lot. The increase in its use prevents the individualization of the child and leads to the inability to take responsibility alone in the future. Therefore, it is very important for the children to separate themselves from the parents in the discourses. Especially helicopter parents use expressions such as “We went to our school”, “We saw our father”, “We ate our dinner”. The thing to be aware of is that the school is your child's school, not yours. Instead of z, sentences such as “Ece went to school today” that allow separation and emphasize individuality will be healthier.
The behavior of helicopter parents creates certain traces and problems in children in the future. In general, children who are brought up with this kind of parenting attitude may have problems such as lack of self-confidence, anxiety disorders, inability to manage stress well, eating disorders, inability to make decisions on their own, and poor psychological resilience. Therefore, it is important for parents to distinguish their own needs from the needs of their children, to observe their own behavior and think about the consequences.
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