Erik Erikson, who defines people's developmental periods in eight stages, expresses adolescence as role confusion versus identity acquisition. During adolescence, which is also expressed as the transition period from childhood to adulthood, people constantly try to watch themselves in front of the mirror, try on identities and become a subject. For the adolescent, who needs to be liked as a result of the visual and hormonal changes he experiences, how he looks in the eyes of others is perhaps more important than at any other age. A new hair style, a new style of clothing, way of speaking, etc. are all identities they try on. They usually do this by taking on the characteristics of an idealized person. In other words, that new hair style is not a coincidence, but is actually a feature of someone with a good identity. At a time when he is so concerned with his image, even a small blow to his image can be enough to shake a person's self-confidence. According to research, more than half of adolescents deal with self-confidence issues. It is of great importance to overcome these problems in a healthy way.
Developmental psychologists say that positive self-esteem in young people is important in terms of trying new things, improving oneself, taking healthy risks and managing crises; They state that this situation contributes greatly to the child's ability to create a healthy future by acting independently and maturely, being proud of his successes, accepting his failures and taking responsibility for them, and helping everyone when necessary, even when he becomes an adult. When we try to look at the story from the other side, we see a child who avoids situations where there is a possibility of failure, embarrassment or mistake, and who has problems in school life and social relationships. If left untreated, low self-confidence can cause children to become shy, angry, sad and anxious, have low motivation, dislike their bodies, and turn to risky behaviors such as alcohol or drugs to feel better.
The shakes in self-confidence experienced during this period. Although friends have a great influence on anxiety disorders, the role of family as a protective factor cannot be denied. Children first see themselves from their parents' perspective. Since they know each other, their first subject formation is from their perspective. Children are more influenced by their parents than by anyone else. In fact, we all take on identities that make us look good in their eyes, often without realizing it. For the child, despite all the reactions from his environment, the identity assigned to him by his family remains on the sidelines as a reference. In this sense, families have a much greater impact on supporting their children's self-confidence than they realize.
Children's self-confidence usually develops when they know that they have a family that loves and values them. In our society, where expressing love and truth is not common, children try to understand these things indirectly and continue in their adult lives that it is not normal to say this. So don't hesitate to express your love openly, your child needs it. In addition, children are encouraged to do things they care about and receive praise for their work, which supports their self-confidence. In addition, you can follow these strategies to be the engine for your child's self-confidence:
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When you feel good about your child or something he has done, tell him this. Children retain very well the positive and negative things we say to them.
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Be generous when praising your child when he demonstrates a talent or does a good job at something. You can never praise too much. You will also see that your child will fully adopt the positive character traits you use in the future.
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Teach your child to remember positive things about himself because what we think affects how we feel, and how we feel affects how we act.
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Teach your child to make decisions and advise him to remember a good decision he made when he needs to make a decision.
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Try to spend quality time with your child; Listen actively, help him learn new things and walk towards his goals.
The common thing in all of these is that you teach your child to walk on his own feet with your support. Particularly active for your teenager It will be important to spend time and listen to him. What you should remember is that young people's self-confidence develops with frequent ups and downs. If your child does not suddenly start to show signs of positive self-confidence despite doing these, this does not mean that you are doing something wrong, it just means that he needs some time.
In addition to these, there are also some behaviors that families should avoid. Our child may not always behave the way we like, and we may be trying to change some of his behavior. In such cases;
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Instead of using harsh or negative language towards your child and punishing him emotionally, stating an alternative that he can do instead of that behavior and talking about it by taking his opinion,
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Control your anger and avoid yelling at your child, especially in environments where others are present (this will be a source of embarrassment, especially for your teenage child, and may cause him/her to move away from you completely),
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Staying away from criticism that takes the form of humiliation,
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Avoiding conversations that will make your child feel alone (for example, engaging in discourse such as 'Do whatever you want' when he/she behaves against our wishes),
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It is important not to ignore them,
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Not to compare them with others - especially other siblings. Every child is special for his family, but he can only learn this through the transmission of his family. So make it feel like it is.
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