Education is a positive concept and I think it is not possible to adequately show its presence in negativity. So, what's the negative? If I say the mentality that society has from top to bottom... How so? Don't you think we are a society where the value of many people is determined not by what they do, but by what they do not do? And unfortunately, this starts in our smallest building block, the family, and continues throughout life. Let me explain what I mean with a small example. “The child gets 95 on the math exam and goes home with excitement, he can't wait to share it with his family and get their appreciation. He goes home, shares his success with them, and the first thing your parents wonder is, "Is there anyone who is higher than you?"
All the motivation of the child who is introduced to the cruelty of life at an early age is gone. This does not motivate a person no matter how old he is, even if you are an adult in business life, you have experienced the same feeling. Imagine that you have done your best for your job and your boss does not care about the parts you have done and highlights your shortcomings or mistakes. Think about the emotions you experienced at that moment, think about the thoughts that crossed your mind, and even imagine the impact it had on a child. At that age, he realized that he would never get the appreciation he hoped for. Which of you has not experienced this and we will continue to experience this as long as awareness is not raised. A perfectionist and critical attitude is not an attitude that develops and stimulates as it is thought, on the contrary, it causes avoidance and not trying due to fear of failure. It is a fact that life is like this, and its value in people's eyes is determined by what you don't do, not by what you do. Unfortunately, we are a society that cares about the glass being half empty rather than half full. In popular words, we are a society that looks for openness. I think this is also the parental legacy, this is the attitude we see at the very beginning, we are taught to focus on the missing part. But at least our family should believe and trust us, and we should learn to trust ourselves, so that people's criticisms do not demoralize us as much as possible, right? How nice it would be if this mentality changed a little. As long as we are aware of ourselves, believe me, those criticisms will not affect us. Wouldn't it be nice if we initiated the change?
Do you think it is not a natural reaction for the child to become alienated from working when faced with the attitude he sees? Even if the child pushes his limits and gets 95 points, instead of facing the reaction of "Where did the 5 points go?", he thinks that he will be criticized anyway, so at least he will be criticized by not really working hard. 95 is just an extreme example to emphasize the importance of the situation. Sometimes 70 is equivalent to a 60, a 100 grade. What matters is the effort and where it comes from. Each child has different interests, capacities and skills, each with very different colors, and this should not be ignored in education. Of course, when the child's efforts are not appreciated, the opposite situation may develop. Throughout his life, he strives for the appreciation he will receive from his parents, and he is not even aware of why he is trying so hard. He wears himself out by adopting the parents' demands as if they were his own, and perhaps he is very successful. However, these children are always very, very unhappy. They have many stress-related diseases at a young age. I call them projects, not children. I call it the perfectionist parent's project. As in everything else, we have no control over parenting; either unnecessarily exaggerated trust and appreciation or none at all. And believe me, both produce the same result. Extremes are harmful, dangerous. We must keep this in order and in balance, just like everything else.
I think the answer to the question of why we are not successful enough in education is very clear when the basic perspective contains so many problems. There are thousands of educational weaknesses lost due to lack of faith and trust. We are a nation that has no limits to what it can do when it comes to self-confidence, but first the parents break that belief in itself, then the teachers that come across it in education life, the number of lessons it gives up one by one increases and then why we are unsuccessful in education. Because we are a society where self-confidence exists as a defense mechanism. The number of people who are truly self-confident and who are not afraid to put something out there is very few. We don't produce, we don't work because we don't truly trust ourselves. Because there is criticism inherited from our parents and there is never being appreciated in our subconscious. Okay, we've identified the problem, is there a solution to this? Of course there is, since we cannot change parents or people, we must work on our own perspective. First of all, life is your life. You don't live for anyone, all efforts are for our own life. This should be your motivation, a You should not be dependent on the approval of others, of course it would be nice if it were, it would be motivation, but believe me, it is possible even if it is not, you can still succeed and at the end of the work, you will have created the opportunity for yourself to say "despite everyone, despite everything". Stay with love, stay with hope, stay with kindness.
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