Jealousy is the desire to be placed in a privileged place and being disturbed by someone else being placed in a privileged place.
When two people establish a close relationship, one or both of them may be jealous of the other. Jealousy can occur in all types of relationships, but tends to occur more frequently and usually between lovers. Therefore, when we talk about jealousy, the first thing that comes to our mind is sexual jealousy.
Jealousy is not created equal in terms of its type and form. Some are truly inevitable and morally harmless, but others are destructive and must be avoided, like epidemics. However, the explanations made about jealousy do not allow us to distinguish between these two types. Generally, jealousy is defined in its second form.
Our culture contains conflicting views on jealousy. On the one hand, many people think that jealousy is not only inevitable but also laudable. According to this view, if your partner thinks you're getting close to someone else and doesn't get jealous, then he doesn't really care about you. This general belief is expressed as follows: “Don't let his jealousy upset you; After all, it shows that he loves you. On the other hand, jealousy is also defined as a bad behavior and trait that is attributed to "... envy... is a monster that mocks the flesh on which it feeds..." (Shakespeare). In other words, while it is admirable to be jealous of someone else's spouse, it is undesirable to be jealous of what others have.
There is some truth in these views. One form of jealousy is truly inevitable and morally innocent, while the other form is an emotion to be avoided and morally abhorrent. It is unfortunate that they are both called "jealousy".
Therefore, it is necessary to see the differences between envy, jealousy and greed.
Envy is when something desired belongs to someone else and gives pleasure to them rather than to us. It is an angry emotion based on the belief that it should give. The feeling of envy forces the person to take the desired thing from its owner, to spoil it, to destroy it.
Jealousy is also based on envy, but jealousy involves three people in a standard way. ir. Envy is two people. The focal point of the emotion of envy is a feature or object. The focus of jealousy is a third person. The disturbing characteristic of the other person in envy is their green eyes, friendly and warm personality traits, or their desire to have the object they own, such as a nice car, house, etc. What bothers a person is that they do not have what the other person has.
Jealousy is different. By definition, the jealous person's expectation from the other (friend, lover, spouse) is to be placed in a special place, to be favored. However, the person experiencing jealousy not only wants himself to be put in a special place, but also does not want anyone else to receive this treatment.
In short, jealousy is the intervention of a third party between the loved one and the subject.
Especially the spouse. And being placed in a special place in loving relationships is an inevitable reality. However, the desire to be placed in a special place should not become monistic and all-encompassing. The desire to be placed in a special place does not have to be monistic and all-encompassing. Being put in a special place has a very narrow focus and is stifling. Just because a person says he is jealous of another person does not mean that he wants to be placed in a special place in every respect. Although some people desire it that way, it is not the general norm. In fact, expecting our partner to always put us in a special place in every way is a misguided desire. No one can meet all the needs of another.
If the desire to be placed in a special place becomes monistic and all-encompassing, one or both parties will experience a suffocating process. The fact that the desire to be placed in a special place changes its dimension and becomes monistic and all-encompassing is a situation related to the person's fear of inadequacy and loss, rather than jealousy alone. It is about the fear of losing the object of attention and love.
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