There was a relationship that started with good hopes. Years passed; It turned out that this union was not just about two people. Families; extended and nuclear; Friends; sincere or insincere; works; character differences; wants; expectations; dreams; communication styles; habits; preferences etc. In fact, that relationship was far from being a couple.
Then you had a child; one or more than one. If the relationship was going well, willingly from the beginning; If it didn't go away, it would be a band-aid - which is a burden placed on the child before he was born; While one side wants to have a child and the other side does not, perhaps by force or acceptance; However, it is very important for the child to be ready on both sides; The first child grew up, there were problems, then they said let's have another child, things would change, as if the second child was born; It seems that he will have the power to manage his parents' characters and behaviors.
And then it turns out that the relationship is not going well! One side wanted couple therapy; The other side was stubborn, wondering how someone else could handle what we couldn't handle, and no action was taken. -In couples therapy, two extremes are discussed; that is, to continue or to divorce; but the aim is to manage this in a healthy way.-
The divorce part was considered, but "I continue the relationship just for the sake of the child, I endure it".
It was decided to continue with the following sentences. This becomes a huge burden on the child. Maybe at that time, you may think that you are sacrificing yourself and doing something good for your child. However, even though you think "I wouldn't do it, I wouldn't reflect it on my children", in the slightest argument or problem you say "I'm going through it for you!" Or you may find yourself saying sentences like "I endured it for the sake of the child!" You should not do this to yourself, your spouse, or your children. Remember, unhappy parents mean unhappy children; A happy child thrives in an environment where there are happy parents.
This may come to your mind while reading; Is it necessary to end the relationship immediately? Of course no; First of all, he hasn't been able to get out of it for months or years. You can get couple therapy support to solve your problems. As a result of the discussions, you will decide whether to continue the relationship or not. However, when you eliminate uncertainty for yourself; You will have lifted a huge burden off your child/children's back.
Also; You will be able to spend your time to the fullest and be productive. This means that your child can express himself freely and that you create a peaceful environment.
Read: 0
