In this week's article, we will talk about the types of Parent Ego State that we described last week. Good read..
The Parent Ego State is divided into two parts in itself. The first part is called “Critical Parent”. Critical Parent; is critical, judgmental and rule-making. It controls, counsels, and punishes us. In some cases, it can be discouraging. When individuals act with Critical Parenting, they may focus on preserving social norms, traditions and values and tend to criticize or even punish those who do not comply with them. The Critical Parent steps in and warns us when someone does something we think is wrong or when we want to take an action that we know is actually wrong. He always directs us to the behaviors he thinks are right and in accordance with the social rules. We may think of this situation as our parents punishing us or giving us advice for a wrong behavior when we were little. Sentences such as “That plate will be finished”, “Whatever I say”, “Don't respond to me” can be given as examples of Critical Parent sentences. When you use these sentences, you are making a message with your Critical Parent side.
The second part of the Parent Ego State is the “Caring Parent”. This ego state, also known as the “Foster Parent”, is the part of us that values us for who we are, provides emotional support, approves and affirms us. Our caregiver side, which can be formed in a healthy way with the unconditional love and support we receive from our parents, reminds us that our mere existence is a sufficient reason for us to be loved. This part of us is caring, forgiving and compassionate. It enables us to love not only ourselves but also other people and care for them by helping them. The Caring Parent, who is also altruistic and anxious, can make excessive sacrifices and prevent us from showing courage and taking risks even though it will result in a positive outcome. He acts by thinking that leaving the social rules and behavior patterns that he describes as "correct" will harm the individual. The sentences “I am afraid of getting hurt”, “I cook the food, you rest”, “You are such a smart kid”, “You have a beautiful smile” are the sentences in Baku. m is an example of a Giver Parent sentence.
Whether Critical or Caring, the Parent Ego state is an important part of our selves. Above all, thanks to our caring and advising side, humanity can raise new generations, it is the Parent Ego State within us that enables us to be true Parents. The second is that it provides shortcuts and automatic responses in making many complex decisions and behaviors, thus saving a lot of time and effort (Berne, 2001). The biggest factor that enables our Parental side to be beneficial to us is the dominance of our Adult side over our Parental behavior. With the healthy intervention of our adult side, our Parent and Child side can emerge in a healthy and happy way. In the coming weeks we will examine in detail the Adult and Child Ego States and the interaction between them. I wish you healthy and happy days.
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