It is a question that many parents frequently ask; What kind of education should I give to my children? I don't want to get angry or yell at my children, but I can't get them to listen to me otherwise. I can't tidy his room or get his homework done. So is there a solution to these problems?
It is possible to give effective discipline training to children and to establish effective communication without getting angry or fighting.
Discipline; It is an order that expresses the dos and don'ts in accordance with the values, thoughts and behaviors of a home and family. In other words, the disciplinary rules applied within each family may differ. The important thing to give your children effective discipline training is to create an inner sense of responsibility in the child. Discipline cannot be achieved through constant external pressure! If the child obeys the rules and follows your wishes when left alone, it means that he has gained "discipline". You can take:
1-SET AN EXAMPLE
If you want your child to tidy his room but you leave it messy, if you want your child not to lie but you resort to lying in some situations, then your child will behave just like you. Children learn by seeing. It will be easier for your child to acquire this behavior if you first do the behaviors you want your child to do and acquire and set an example.
2- SHOW LOVE AND RESPECT
Remember that your children are your children, not soldiers of an army. . Disciplinary education given to the child includes a high degree of love and respect. Not showing love to the child or scolding him is not a method of discipline. If you want your child to be a self-confident, responsible individual, it is important to accept that they are also individuals, to act knowing that they have their own feelings and thoughts, to not withhold your love, and to listen to them too.
3 -SET RULES SUITABLE FOR YOUR CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT LEVEL.
The child's developmental level means the child's cognitive, physical, psychological Jik means the level of what you can do mentally. As children grow up, they make progress by adding to what they have learned, unless traumatic events or illnesses intervene. However, if your child is not yet physically, psychologically and cognitively ready for some situations and rules, setting and trying to enforce these rules that he is not ready for will be a torment for both the parents and the child. If you have made a rule about telling your 1-year-old child that it is time to go to the toilet, your child will not be able to comply with this rule even if he wants to, because he is not developmentally ready for this yet.
While you can set rules for your teenage child about what time he/she should come home, it is very difficult for your preschool child to make rules and have them comply. Because your preschool child's concept of time has not yet been clearly formed.
4-TRY TO SET LOGICAL AND PRIORITY RULES WHEN SETTING RULES.
Although the word rule is repulsive to many people and connotes restriction, the rules applied in raising children actually determine a safe space for the child. A child who grows up in an environment without rules and boundaries will not know when dangers will find him or when he will cross the limits, and this will lead to big problems in his adult life. So, what should be taken into consideration when setting rules? While rules are necessary in the adventure of raising children, a family that is too rule-based is just as harmful. The important thing is the rules that are logical and really necessary. As a parent, what behaviors would you primarily like to see in your child? What's important to you: whether he tidies his room or brushes his teeth? When you want them all at the same time, your home turns into a house of rules that are not followed. Therefore, determine your priority list and try to set your rules accordingly.
5- DECIDE YOUR RULES WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
Of course, for this situation, your child must be at an age where he can speak and understand the word rule. Especially if you have a child in adolescence, it is important to ask his/her opinion when determining the rules at home.
6- MAY YOUR RULES ALWAYS BE VALID.
You have set a rule about your child's bedtime, applied it for a while, but you go home. meet with the guest First of all, you violated the rule you created with your child and changed the bedtime by yourself. In this case, expecting your child to comply with the bedtime rule on other days will be nothing more than a dream. Applying the rules you have created consistently, even if the place or people change, is important for the rules to be implemented. If you cannot maintain this order in terms of the rules you have set, it is useful to check whether the rule is really on your priority list.
7- LET IT REALLY BE GOOD
You have agreed with your child that he will eat chocolate only once a week. However, your child broke this rule and said he wanted chocolate ahead of time. When you reminded him of your rule, he continued to insist, cry and whine and did not calm down. Even in this situation, you should not step back. He may accuse you of being unscrupulous. You may not be able to stand his crying. However, if the purpose of setting this rule is really for your child's health and education, following the rule is the right thing to do. If this rule is broken when your child cries, your child will learn this and it will be impossible for you to create effective discipline.
Giving your child effective discipline training and paying attention to and applying these steps to ensure that he/she obeys the rules will give you positive results. However, if one or both parents are not psychologically healthy and there is a suspicion that the child may have oppositional defiance, conduct disorder, attention deficit, etc., then it would be useful to receive Family Therapy from a specialist.
It is a question that many parents frequently ask; What kind of education should I give to my children? I don't want to get angry or yell at my children, but I can't get them to listen to me otherwise. I can't tidy his room or get his homework done. So is there a solution to these problems?
It is possible to give effective discipline training to children and to establish effective communication without getting angry or fighting.
Discipline; It is an order that expresses the dos and don'ts in accordance with the values, thoughts and behaviors of a home and family. In other words, the disciplinary rules applied within each family may differ. To your children The important thing to provide effective discipline training is to create an inner sense of responsibility in the child. Discipline cannot be achieved through constant external pressure! If the child obeys the rules and follows your wishes when left alone, it means that he has gained "discipline". You can take:
1-SET AN EXAMPLE
If you want your child to tidy his room but you leave it messy, if you want your child not to lie but you resort to lying in some situations, then your child will behave just like you. Children learn by seeing. It will be easier for your child to acquire this behavior if you first do the behaviors you want your child to do and acquire and set an example.
2- SHOW LOVE AND RESPECT
Remember that your children are your children, not soldiers of an army. . Disciplinary education given to the child includes a high degree of love and respect. Not showing love to the child or scolding him is not a method of discipline. If you want your child to be a self-confident, responsible individual, it is important to accept that they are also individuals, to act knowing that they have their own feelings and thoughts, to not withhold your love, and to listen to them, too.
3 -SET RULES SUITABLE FOR YOUR CHILD'S DEVELOPMENT LEVEL.
The child's development level means the level of what the child can do cognitively, physically, psychologically and mentally. As children grow up, they make progress by adding to what they have learned, unless traumatic events or illnesses intervene. However, if your child is not yet physically, psychologically and cognitively ready for some situations and rules, setting and trying to enforce these rules that he is not ready for will be a torment for both the parents and the child. If you have made a rule about telling your 1-year-old child that it is time to go to the toilet, your child will not be able to comply with this rule even if he wants to, because he is not developmentally ready for this yet.
Home for your teenage child While you can set rules about what time your child should come, it is very difficult for your preschool child to comply with them. Because your preschool child's concept of time has not yet been clearly formed.
4-TRY TO SET LOGICAL AND PRIORITY RULES WHEN SETTING RULES.
Although the word rule is repulsive to many people and connotes restriction, the rules applied in raising children actually determine a safe space for the child. A child who grows up in an environment without rules and boundaries will not know when dangers will find him or when he will cross the limits, and this will lead to big problems in his adult life. So, what should be taken into consideration when setting rules? While rules are necessary in the adventure of raising children, a family that is too rule-based is just as harmful. The important thing is the rules that are logical and really necessary. As a parent, what behaviors would you primarily like to see in your child? What's important to you: whether he tidies his room or brushes his teeth? When you want them all at the same time, your home turns into a house of rules that are not followed. Therefore, determine your priority list and try to set your rules accordingly.
5- DECIDE YOUR RULES WITH YOUR CHILDREN.
Of course, for this situation, your child must be at an age where he can speak and understand the word rule. Especially if you have a child in adolescence, it is important to ask his/her opinion when determining the rules at home.
6- MAY YOUR RULES ALWAYS BE VALID.
You have set a rule about your child's bedtime, applied it for a while, but you go home. You violated this rule you created with your child with the guest and spontaneously changed the bedtime. In this case, expecting your child to comply with the bedtime rule on other days will be nothing more than a dream. Applying the rules you have created consistently, even if the place or people change, is important for the rules to be implemented. If you cannot maintain this order in terms of the rules you have set, it is useful to check whether the rule is really on your priority list.
7- LET IT REALLY BE GOOD
You have agreed with your child that he will eat chocolate only once a week. However, your child broke this rule and
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