When you ask the people around you what it means to forgive, you get answers that mean "forgetting the injustices you have suffered and continuing your relationship with that person."
However, forgiving does not mean forgetting what was done, nor continuing to talk to that person. Forgiving does not mean that you find that person innocent; It also means that you ignored your mistake. You may hear these sentences from many people: "I forgave him because I love him so much.", "I forgave him because I can't live without him.", "If I forgive, I would compromise myself.", "If I forgive, he will repeat the same mistake."
But forgiveness is with the other party. There is nothing he cannot take or give. Forgiveness is our choice. Forgiveness is a decision we make in our inner world.With our free will, it means that we stop harboring the negative, destructive emotions that arise from our experiences. George Herbert expressed this situation beautifully with the words "Anyone who does not forgive someone else destroys the bridge over which he himself has to cross."
Forgiveness means learning from the situations you encounter. It allows you to let go.Unless you forgive, you will punish yourself; Even though you think you are punishing the other party. And forgiving is difficult, that's why "Forgiveness is greatness."
Forgiveness heals you. To understand this, it will be enough to pay attention to what you experience when you do not forgive the other person; both physically and spiritually... When you forgive, you will feel lighter.You will release and liberate yourself.
Research also reveals the many positive effects of forgiveness. People who forgive are able to establish healthier relationships. Blood pressure decreases and heart rate normalizes. Their memories become stronger, their body defense systems work better, their chronic pain and sleep problems decrease, therefore their quality of life increases considerably.
Wouldn't you like to notice all these changes in yourself?
So, cut yourself some slack and be alone.
Now think carefully... Who can't you forgive? Yourself or someone you think has wronged you?
Accept your experience.
“How can he do this to me?”, “How can he be like this? “I made a mistake?”, “I (should) bear the consequences of this.” Put aside thoughts that will hurt your soul, such as.
Tell him/her what you want to say to yourself.
And tell him/her that you forgive yourself. .
Even if that person does not know that you have forgiven, you shouldknow it for yourself.
FORGIVE…
References: Nakajima, Şafak (2017) ” Forgiveness”
Tibbits, Dr Dick (2007) The Healing Power of Forgiveness. Trans. H. Live, Kalemus Publications
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