What is a boundary and why is it necessary?
Children want to understand the rules of the environment they live in. Knowing what is expected of them, who is in control, how far they can go and what can happen if they go too far...
There is a very close connection between the sense of boundaries and the feeling of security. When a parent cannot set enough limits, we can say that he cannot contain his child. Apparently, the body does not like boundaries because it is pleasure-oriented, but where there is no boundary, the human psyche does not feel safe.
Our country also has boundaries. For example; Stopping at a red light annoys us, but it makes us feel safe. If there were no law, anyone could usurp you. Likewise, we mostly want to live in secure sites to feel safe.
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN TOO MUCH LIMITS ARE SET?
When too many limits are applied, this can be suffocating and restrict the child's range of movement. turns into a relationship. Thus, parents turn into mere rule-goers and the parent-child relationship is damaged. A competent parent is the parent who includes the child, not the one who surrounds him/her.
WILL SAYING NO MAKE US GROW?
Although no's often annoy us, at the same time, "no"'s make us grow up. . For example, mothers say "no to breast" at some stage in their children's lives and open the doors of food to the child. By saying "no" to carrying in one's arms, the child prepares for an action such as walking.
As you say no, the child who comes here and crashes begins to find new ways for himself. Setting limits on someone means opening a new space for them.
WHEN SETTING LIMITS;
-Our most basic principle is a plain and simple statement. A firm stance at the border is important. In this way, the child who says "I cannot change the outcome, let me change myself" takes responsibility for himself. A determined stance does not mean being rigid. It is essential to always understand the child's emotions first, contain them and set appropriate boundaries. It is wrong to set wholesale limits. Parents should first set limits on one or two issues that affect functionality, in order of importance. If there are other issues, they should be resolved respectively. Teach children things like love, attention, appreciation, nutrition and play. No limits are set regarding basic needs. Limits can only be set regarding requests. As a result, it is important to talk to the parent about why he or she cannot set limits. It is difficult for a parent who does not know why he cannot set limits to find out how to do so.
Read: 0
