Homosexuality is a developmental problem and at its core there are problems in the father-son relationship. These problems may cause the child to not be able to internalize his/her gender identity. The boy will normally identify with the masculine model in order to develop a masculine personality. As the boy grows and develops, he gradually feels the need to move away from his mother and be closer to his father. During this period, he compares himself with his father, is open and receptive to having masculine characteristics, and shows special interest in the father (he wants to be like him). As a result, the feeling of dependence on the father increases and he expects approval and acceptance from him. The feeling of freedom and strength that comes from breaking away from the mother is embodied in the father. When the father is compassionate and accepting, he will be effective in helping the boy separate himself from femininity and enter the masculine area. In this way, he will identify with masculinity and will probably be heterosexual.
The father is of great importance for the development of his son's sense of masculinity. Once the child identifies with the father, he becomes open to taking other men as models. The emotional intensity between father and son contributes greatly to determining the gender identity of the boy. Each child internalizes the personality traits, values and behaviors of the father he takes as a model and begins to shape his ego. Instead of pressure and punishment in the relationship, paternal warmth, love and attention contribute positively to identification. That temperature is essential for the development of the male gender. If the child grows and develops by perceiving his father as supportive and rewarding, that child will be prevented from showing homosexual characteristics, and the father will have a great contribution to his growth by embracing masculinity. The father's passive presence at home is an important factor in homosexuality. Of course, love alone may not be enough. While the father gives his love, he should also encourage the child towards male autonomy. The main reason for homosexuality is not the passiveness or absence of the father, but the child's development of a defensive detachment attitude towards the male figure. If father and son spend little time together during childhood and the father remains in the background, consequences may arise that may push the child towards femininity. Children who grow up angry at their fathers reject the male model and adopt a feminine stance. your father In order to help with identity formation, one must first feel secure enough in his or her own identity. Many boys may reject the father during the gender identification period, but if the father is healthy, emotionally flexible and able to recover quickly, the relationship will be formed again.
The Importance of the Mother Factor
Homosexual men's childhood When looking at her life, it is possible to see an extremely close, oppressive and protective mother figure. A dominance that undermines the father-son relationship and sabotages autonomy is a factor that causes homosexuality. If the mother is overprotective, affectionate, affectionate, controlling and too close, while the father is distant, passive or absent, it is very likely to find the boy close to feminine identification. Most homosexual mothers are anxious and fragile and therefore have weak personalities. As a result of their weakness, they exert a strong manipulative influence over their sons. In case of a destructive partnership with the mother, the child will have an attitude that excludes the father, which is an effective factor that alienates the child from masculinity. Nowadays, since fathers live away from home and disconnected from their sons, the mother always plays the role of mediator between father and son, so that the child sees his father through feminine eyes. As a factor of homosexuality, the dominance of the mother or her being overly rewarding and establishing a relationship based on meeting the narcissistic needs of one of the parents are effective. An overprotective mother in early childhood is an effective factor for the child who has problems with his father to break away from his father and seek refuge in his mother. In individuation by separation from the mother, the father must step in. If the relationship between mother and son is strong but the father is distant from both of them, the child's identification favors the mother and gravitates towards femininity. In addition, if the mother ignores the father's masculinity and damages him, it will inhibit the father's desire to be a model.
The Importance of the Parent-Father Relationship
A bad family life and parents We can think that there is a relationship between sexual intercourse and homosexuality. It is often seen that the marital relationships of the parents of homosexuals are destructive and perverted, and that there is a struggle for dominance between the parents. It is also possible for homosexuality to exist if there is a broken marriage and family. Boy child gender identical In this period, he/she needs the help and cooperation of both mother and father. Boys with gender disorders have less contact with the male figure due to the absence of the father due to divorce. Therefore, he cannot identify with masculinity. Husbands and wives who experience a healthy sense of satisfaction and security do not use the child to meet other needs. In an unsatisfactory and insecure marriage, most mothers try to compensate their sons for the emotional gap caused by their spouse's absence. If there is a bond of love between husband and wife, the father will be a healthy model for his son regarding the relationship between men and women and will also provide his wife with the sense of security that she would like to maintain with the child. If the woman belittles her husband and harms his masculinity and humiliates him, the child will reject masculinity.
The Importance of Past Traumas
During the development process, the child may experience rejection by his father or the father has significant personality disorders. Having it can cause trauma in childhood. Sometimes, even if the father is loving, he may not be able to sincerely accept the child. This may be due to the traumas in the father's own life, and some of the transfers he makes to his child may cause problems in the child's gender development. The father transfers his feelings of unresolved hatred and hostility towards his own father or brother to his child and sees the child's individuation as a threat. Feeling threatened, the father feels insecurity and rejection in the development of his son's gender identity. Despite everything, if the father is emotionally flexible, he can quickly recover and organize his relationship with his son.
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