Hello, my dear readers and dear followers of our site. Today, I have prepared a series of articles for you on how to explain death to a child. I said it should be a series of articles because the subject is a bit heavy, a bit tiring and a bit long. I resorted to such a method so as not to tire you, my dear readers. I hope I followed a good strategy. Anyway, after making such an introduction, let's move on to the topic. I thought I would prepare a background in this first part of the article series. I wish you a good reading. If you like it, I would be very happy if you share it on social media. Because if you get someone to read this article, you will actually prevent many children from experiencing serious trauma. Don't you think this is a very valuable and important effort? Who knows what lives this contribution you will make will save or change?
I think it is a difficult issue to explain someone's death, to break the news about it, and maybe even to talk about death. Indeed, the person who undertakes this task of conveying the news of someone else's death to another will have serious difficulties, whether he wants it or not. Because, as I said, this job is really difficult. While the child does not even know what the concept of death is, perhaps for the first time he will hear from you what this concept actually means. Therefore, we must accept that it is indeed a serious responsibility. Even though it is difficult, it does not eliminate the fact that death is an inevitable part of life. Yes, death is indeed a very, very natural part, a phase of the adventure of life. The whole point is to convey this natural phase to the child in a beautiful way.
All living things, including us humans, give a start for life. It survives for a while. In other words, it is born, grows, develops and flourishes. So will it ever stay like this? Of course not. Afterwards, this life adventure ends. That is, it is born, grows and dies. Children are actually aware of this cycle. In other words, children actually know that death exists, that it is a phase, an inevitable part of the life adventure, and perhaps they feel it thanks to all their innocence. This awareness or feeling is of course not a conscious awareness or a conscious feeling. So yes, maybe there is a vaccine somewhere. its origin has been formed. So what can we add to this familiarity? Whatever we say about death, we add another brick to it.
While death is sometimes a naturally expected phenomenon at the end of a long-lasting illness, sometimes it can occur suddenly at an unexpected time. Sometimes the child can witness this process, and sometimes he can stay very, very far away. In such a situation, we should really guide the child correctly; Let's not cause different fears such as fear of death or other traumas. We must provide such accurate information that; The child should be able to cope with the absence of his/her loved one in a healthy way. We must explain it so well that the child in front of us does not immediately exhibit serious fears when someone around him/her gets sick or grows old. Don't overreact. Do not create various scenarios in your mind.
Today, we have experienced such rapid changes in our lives and lifestyles; One really cannot hide one's surprise. In the past, parents would literally kick the child out of the house. Let him go out, meet his friends, play, get tired, etc. Now, a parenting style has become so overprotective that the child cannot leave the house properly. Of course, there are understandable aspects to this. However, in order to protect the child, we deprive the child of the natural flow of social life. Therefore, children live life without experiencing life. So, what kind of disadvantages does this situation bring regarding death? First of all, unfortunately, the child can be kept away from condolences in order to protect the child. Children are not taken to cemeteries. Unfortunately, the child is not taken to hospitals to visit patients or even if the patient is at home. These and similar practices make it a little difficult for the child to understand that processes such as death and disease are actually a natural and inevitable part of life.
But what about the situation of adults? We can sometimes observe ourselves as a person talking about death, and sometimes as a person listening to conversations about death. Sometimes, when we are alone, we dive into thoughts about death at the back of our minds. Dear reader, let me share something with you. A significant portion of adults prefer to talk about death and think about it. We can observe thinking and pondering, but we can also observe a significant portion of adults who never engage in such intellectual activities, right? I can hear you say yes. In fact, children behave just like adults. In other words, while some of them begin to question themselves about death as early as preschool, we can observe that, on the other hand, a significant portion of children are not even asked any questions or talked about. Because the child somehow senses whether this issue can be discussed within the family or not, depending on the approach of the parents. Therefore, it is important that the parents feel ready to talk about this issue and give the message that "there is no problem in talking about this issue." Following this, the most important detail to pay attention to when the child asks a question is not to "assume", to understand well what he is asking, what he is trying to learn and what he knows about it, and to give concise information about what he is asking at that time. In this way, parents have the opportunity to discover the child's possible misunderstandings, fears and concerns.
Children's recognition of death actually begins at a very early age. For example, preschool period. This period covers the ages of 3-6. Children of this period often try to get information about death from their parents. Do you know why? Because children of this age have definitely seen a dead animal on the street at least once. Even if there is a child who has not met someone on the street, that child must have encountered news of a death on television. Let's say the child passes this one too. Maybe he read it in a book. Maybe he heard it in a story or fairy tale. In other words, it is not as mysterious as we think.
If there is a flow of information about death between the parent and the child and the child is allowed to ask questions, this is truly a wonderful thing. Because the child creates a schema or a folder in his mind about death. Therefore, each conversation means adding an extra page and an extra file to this folder. This will provide many advantages to the child. For example, perhaps the child will not be stunned when he encounters death. Again, for example, the child feels himself in any possible way. It can prepare you for a crisis situation. We can convey any information necessary to our child when he/she needs it. When he is sad, we can stand next to him more comfortably and share his sadness more easily.
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