Vaginismus is a female sexual dysfunction in the narrow sense. The main factor in the etiology of the disease is the woman's relationship with the psycho-sexual development process in social life.
A study conducted in our country shows that women with vaginismus do not trust their husbands sufficiently. Again, the fact that women who did not seek treatment but had vaginismus during this period recovered spontaneously over time can also be explained by the increased trust they have in their husbands. It is observed that their patterns overlap with each other.
Friedman divides women with vaginismus into three groups in his book 'Virgin Wives'.
Childlike women whose relationship with their husbands is like a father-daughter relationship.
· In the second group, there are man-hating women who feel and experience sexual intercourse as a struggle between the sexes
· In the third group, there are women who see sexuality as dirty and degrading and who experience sexuality only for procreation.
Here are the women. The attitudes these women take towards sexuality affect their husbands' sexual behavior. From a dynamic perspective; We can say that those in the first group see their husbands as fathers and feel guilty about a virtual incestuous relationship with them. The second group of women engage in a masculine struggle with their husbands. Those in the third group may be castrating their husbands by not allowing them to associate sexual intercourse with pleasure and by driving them into impotence.
The husbands of women with vaginismus have little sexual experience. They are people who have very limited sexual experience with other women before marriage, who are passive, dependent, overly thoughtful, protective, not sexually assertive, who give up easily, who are in an unconscious agreement with their spouses, who avoid sexual intercourse and who are afraid of sexuality. Unlike their fathers, women with vaginismus chose these men because they were safe, gentle and respectful. Women who choose more aggressive men need less vaginismus treatment.
The basic common feeling experienced by vaginismus men is to first empathize, feel and understand their partner. Afterwards this emp Anger gives way to resentment, despair and rage. They go into an intense rage and then the interrogations begin. The feeling of rejection is heavy. And in the process, they begin to distance themselves from their spouses.
These men may experience anxiety, intense anxiety and performance anxiety during sexual intercourse. In the cases followed, premature ejaculation problems or erectile dysfunction may be observed in these men during the intercourse phase of sexual therapy. Vaginismus is not a pure sexual dysfunction, but a common sexual problem in partners. Spouses should also be included in the treatment at every stage of the treatment process. While the woman is receiving treatment, the man does not experience any problems. However, when the woman comes to him with her problem solved, the man's anxiety and anxiety increases. The expectation of the close circle who are aware of the incident causes a loss of self-confidence in the man. Fear of castration begins. Performance anxiety brings with it erectile dysfunction.
Just as the life patterns of their spouses bring them face to face, in sexuality, the man is never ready for sexuality when the woman wants it, and the woman is never ready for sexuality when the man wants it. There is a relationship that is constantly avoided and postponed. This process tires each other out both materially and spiritually, and in prolonged periods, it causes spouses to become alienated from each other and men to stay away from sexuality. Getting into bed and touching each other may be the most painful part of the concept of sexuality.
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