While the birth of a baby and becoming a family is a source of happiness for many people, taking care of the baby, the responsibilities that come with life with a baby, and the transition to the role of mother and father also bring with them the concerns. This situation can be experienced twice as often for parents who have twin babies.
Each baby, whether fraternal or identical, is a different world. We often ask, "Oh, how similar are you? Are you twins?", "Do you have the same feelings because you are twins?", "When one of you is sad, does the other one really feel sad too?" Perceptions imposed on them by society because they are twins, such as the feeling of sameness; It can be an obstacle to individualization.
Things to Consider as a Twin Family
Having twins is no different from having a child with an older sister/brother or sibling. Whether they are identical twins or fraternal twins, your children have different characters even if they have similar characteristics.
Even though they are twins, their developmental processes may differ from each other. Therefore, evaluate each child in his own development process and guide him according to his personality and abilities.
Your children will be different individuals and will also have different personality traits. The other may not be interested in the area where one person is good, the other may not like the food that one person likes, the other may not like the activity that one person likes. Therefore, it is a big mistake to compare siblings with each other and to think that because they are twins, all their common pleasures, achievements and likes will be the same.
It is natural for twins to be jealous of each other and to be jealous of their parent from the other twin. This condition, which is seen even among siblings with an age difference, can also be seen in twin siblings. Take care to pay equal attention to both of them, instead of paying less attention to them just because one sibling wants their parent around more, but the other sibling does not.
Do not insist that they be the same. Even though they are twins, we consider them as two siblings born back to back; Remember that they may have different needs, desires, demands and expectations about life.
One of the difficulties of being a twin is that two people feel like they have to do everything. It is to push. It is important to support twin children in their individual processes and give them individual space. It is important to be able to spend time separately as a mother and father, to dress them in different clothes instead of the same clothes, to call them by their names instead of calling them twins, to ensure that they have their own belongings, to give them separate spaces, and to give them a choice of space when they reach the age where they can choose, for their individualization.
When they reach school age; Being in different classes is important for them to socialize, make different friendships, and to be individualized rather than dependent on each other.
Remember that; Your children's characters, expectations from life, desires, interests and achievements are different from each other. Along with the desire to be the same, to be one, to do everything together, it also brings addiction. Your duty is to contribute to the individualization of your children and to support them in becoming independent and progressing according to their interests and abilities.
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