When you think about the colors of your life, the answers you give will always be those you construct with reference to your emotions. Although emotions constitute a large part and the most important part of our lives, humans are also at war with their emotions. We often come across people who do not want to express their emotions or who pretend to act and reflect different emotions, and we may even be one of them.
So, what scares people about their emotions? Is it the anxiety of being visible when you express these, or the fear that having this emotion will make you feel bad? In the conflict that generally goes on between the sentences "My emotions rule me" and "I can restrain my emotions", how much do we really feel the emotion we are experiencing the conflict with? Without realizing it, the person becomes so avoidant of touching his/her emotions in this conflict that after a while, this becomes normal and our accumulations about life begin like this.
Imagine your angry moments. Moments when you may have frowned, clenched your fists, or even clenched your jaw. And imagine your resistance to the urge to clench your fists or clench your eyebrows, despite all your anger, just to avoid expressing this emotion. That is, giving in to your emotions. With the sentence "I overcame my anger" that we say with great enthusiasm, we think that the anger has left us, we think that we have achieved this, and this time we look for traces of happiness in ourselves. However, just like our anger, we give up even the emotions that excite us, sometimes worry us, and even make us happy. Why did we enter into this conflict in the first place, what were the reasons for this war, become unimportant questions at this point. Because it's not actually our emotions that give up, it's us ourselves who give up. Despite all our anxiety, by avoiding being alone with that feeling, we give up on ourselves and accept our own defeat. As our abandonment of feeling due to the sensitivity of our reality and our anxieties turns us into a wall, we become fake at the same speed. Our pretending is increasing and our anxiety about getting in touch with our true feelings turns into a greater fear.
We are fighting our biggest battle. While we think that it is between the good and bad parts of us, we choose our emotions as victims. However, isn't man's greatest struggle to accept both the good and the bad within himself and live in the present, despite all his fears?
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