Making mistakes and learning from them is an important part of being an adult. Perfectionists avoid making mistakes. They don't believe they have the right to make mistakes. They have high standards of expectations for themselves. In fact, perfectionism goes beyond having high standards, it means setting unrealistic standards. A perfectionist person has clear rules on many issues, such as what should happen when, in what way, how it should stand, how it should behave, and cannot bend. There is an all or nothing way of thinking. A black and white perspective is typical for perfectionist people. However, life consists mostly of shades of grey. When we set very high standards by unrealistically insisting on white, the difficulty of achieving this becomes bigger day by day, and we start to delay and not start at all. So trying to be perfect keeps us from being average, even from being good. Because we become unable to start or continue. If I'm not doing it perfectly, we can drop everything so that we won't do it at all. During the process, frequent procrastination, inability to follow through, and failure to take responsibility may occur.
In fact, the person tries to get rid of the underlying feeling of inadequacy by pursuing the idea that he can be perfect and error-free. Working too hard or setting high, unrealistic goals results in having an inner voice that constantly criticizes. Over time, this cruel inner voice leads to burnout, worsening feelings of inadequacy, depression, performance anxiety, sleep problems, intolerance and many other psychiatric diseases. Perfectionist people may react more emotionally to failure than other people and experience intense feelings of guilt and shame.
The perfectionist person tries to make the people around him comply with this, over time, while he puts himself in trouble and puts himself in trouble so that everything is perfect. He expects those around him to behave according to his own standards and rules. They may want to be controlling over them, and this creates a situation that puts relationships in trouble.
Perfectionist personality, although it may carry inherited characteristics, has very high standards, is critical and dislikes. It may also be a reflection of growing up with parents.
In psychotherapy, there are treatment methods such as working with the underlying feeling of worthlessness and thought errors related to the situation. In addition, if there is depression and other psychiatric conditions accompanying the condition, it is necessary to treat them.
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