Possible approaches of individuals who lack self-confidence can be expressed as follows.
I cannot succeed in this job. Everyone can do it, but I can't. I can't be the only one.
Everyone in this workplace is better than me. I'm the only one who won't make it.
I can't work in a new environment. I can't keep up with them.
Problems with self-confidence do not always appear as a deficiency. From time to time, a problem such as excessive self-confidence is encountered. The characteristics of these people and their sentences can be expressed as follows.
I am definitely successful. I am the best, they are not good.
I always do the best.
They enter into a process of internal competition with others.
The biggest deficiency of people who have this problem, popularly known as peak self-confidence, is not improving themselves. It is observed that they stay away from it. They cannot be open to development and change due to their pride and arrogance characteristics, which are above the level of self-confidence.
These Symptoms Show That You Have a Lack of Self-Confidence
Depression, anxiety disorders such as social phobia, substance addiction, Lack of self-confidence is common in people with eating and personality disorders. Symptoms of lack of self-confidence are: • Being unable to say no, not being able to set limits in relationships, being used by others. • Being overly sensitive to criticism. Seeing yourself as incompetent and inadequate.
• Avoiding social environments, shying away from making presentations or speeches in front of others.
• Comparing yourself with others every time. Being introverted and asocial.
• Evaluating oneself as worthless, inadequate and unsuccessful.
• Quickly falling into despair. Being pessimistic.
• Believing that you will be easily rejected by other people and thinking that you are not important.
• Having difficulty in making decisions. Not being able to express an opinion. Being shy about speaking or making presentations.
• Having low expectations. Being affected very easily by negative events.
• Disliking one's physical appearance, ignoring the positive aspects and successful aspects.
• Severely feeling and experiencing feelings of dislike, guilt, regret and shame.
� �� Not being able to express one's opinion, thought, or feeling, believing that if one does, one will not be approved or humiliated.
• Needing others too much.
• Not being able to take risks on their own behalf. Having low expectations.
How Does Someone With Lack of Self-Confidence Act?
-He cannot gather the courage to make any decision or take action, the fear of failure always prevails.
-Afraid of other people's opinions, hesitates to express or defend his own ideas, withdraws immediately when faced with objection.
-Afraid of being criticized or praised; Feels excessively and unreasonably anxious about a good or bad comment.
-Imitates others; He acts like someone to please others and avoids reflecting his own personality.
-He thinks that others are better and more successful.
-He experiences fear of entering society. He avoids social environments, especially situations that require standing out in public (speaking, etc.).
-He wants to get the approval of others when starting any job. He cannot take action or decide on his own without consulting others' opinions and approval.
-He does not judge what people say and think according to himself. He takes his own judgments as a criterion and measures his value in the eyes of others accordingly.
-Avoids eye contact as much as possible. He often looks away when talking to people.
What are the Characteristics of People with Lack of Self-Confidence?
-Inability to tolerate criticism,
-Excessive critical approach,
- Dissatisfaction with oneself and those around them,
-Tendency to blame unfoundedly,
-Willing to harm and torture others,
-Dislike of competition,
-Tendency to be alone and shy.
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How Does an Individual with a Lack of Self-Confidence Behave in Society?
When a person with a lack of self-confidence enters a community, he does not easily express his thoughts and opinions. For example; If you are going to eat as a group, it is very likely that you will get the answer that it doesn't matter from a person with low self-confidence when asked what to eat. Let's say you are going on a trip somewhere and the opinions of the people in the group are You apply to their jobs and there is a high probability that a person with low self-confidence will say "I'm fine, it doesn't matter to me." you will get the answer. He hesitates to express his opinion even when going to the cinema. Some codes lie in the sub-thought, such as other people reject and exclude me. To give another example again; When there is a discussion in a group, an individual with a lack of self-confidence avoids expressing his/her own feelings and thoughts on the subject being discussed and prefers to sit silently. A person who lacks self-confidence cannot play an instrument in front of three to five people and has serious difficulty in playing. Similar examples can be multiplied.
What is the School Life of a Student with a Lack of Self-Confidence?
A student with a lack of self-confidence hesitates to raise his finger and answer even if he knows the answer to the question. His communication with other students is disconnected. He comes to his desk quietly, sits down, and goes home the same way. He either has one or two friends that he keeps in touch with, or he doesn't. Teachers may describe him as an introvert, very quiet, and gentle student. A student with a lack of self-confidence constantly refrains from attending classes that require performance, such as physical education, with excuses such as "my stomach hurts." Because there is the thought that he will be disgraced.
What are the bilateral relations of an individual with a lack of self-confidence?
A person with a lack of self-confidence may experience serious difficulties in his bilateral relations. Eye contact is very important in communication. It shows that you take the other person seriously and care. People who lack self-confidence do not make eye contact and have serious difficulty in making it. The inability of a person with a lack of self-confidence to make eye contact may cause other people to think "I am not being taken seriously". Because of his shy personality, other people have difficulty communicating with him. His quiet and anxious stance can worry the people around him, thus gaining people's antipathy. This situation causes the individual with lack of self-confidence to become antisocial. This situation causes the individual to become increasingly pessimistic. Finally, the footsteps of depression are heard. In such a situation, the individual easily falls into depression.
Is it possible to evaluate self-confidence in the same way as courage? What are their differences?
Although these two concepts seem very close to each other, they are actually different. While self-confidence means being satisfied with one's self as a result of developing good feelings towards oneself and, as a result, being at peace with oneself and one's environment, courage means not being afraid of anything that may happen to oneself. While self-confidence requires a background from the past, courage does not. Even though everyone can be brave, they may not be self-confident. Although courage is imposed by others or a superior value, self-confidence emerges when the person imposes it on himself. Too much of either can cause harm.
Is it right to act as if one's low self-confidence is low instead of trying to increase it? How Does Pretending to Have Something That Doesn't Exist Affect Human Psychology?
When people who lack self-confidence act as if they are self-confident, it causes them to tire and wear themselves out even more. For example; A person with low self-confidence prefers not to talk in order to avoid embarrassment in society and probably defines the people who participate in the conversation as self-confident. He may think that he needs to join the conversation to appear confident. He may have to think for a long time about the sentence he will say. When the desire to participate in the conversation and the fear of embarrassment combine, physical symptoms such as blushing, trembling in the hands and voice may occur. Maybe even for a sentence he says, he can think for a long time about whether he said the right thing in the right place. This process is tiring for the person both physically and spiritually.
In order to solve a problem, it is first necessary to accept the existence of the problem. Instead of pretending to be self-confident, realizing that you are low and thinking about what you can do for a solution helps prevent psychological wear and tear. Because pretending to have something that doesn't exist is no different than being dragged into a vortex. This situation negatively affects the mental state and further increases the self-confidence problems.
Is the Problem of Lack of Self-Confidence Permanent?
Lack of self-confidence is definitely not a permanent problem. Lack of self-confidence is not your destiny. Solution to lack of self-confidence It is a problem. It is definitely beneficial to get support from a psychologist. You can get rid of your lack of self-confidence problem by getting support from a psychologist who deals with this field.
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