What you experience with the child, your behavior and emotions are much more effective, but the words spoken at the right time with the right body language are also very powerful.
Almost all of the communication established with the parents during childhood is very powerful. It's hidden somewhere in your subconscious library. There are such sentences that they are always on the front shelf, an earring in your ear, an echo in your mind. When you get to know a person, love him, get angry with him, or have a problem with him, the voice that comes from inside you often belongs to your mother or father. These words will affect the step you take, positively or negatively.
Howard Gardner, the founder of the multiple intelligence theory, suggested that emotional intelligence (EQ) is more effective than academic intelligence (IQ) in people's success. Your success in a job, your promotion in that job, and establishing happy and safe relationships with people are related to your emotional intelligence rather than your mathematical intelligence. The components of emotional intelligence are recognizing one's emotions, being able to cope with emotions, motivating oneself, being able to recognize and sympathize with the emotions of others, and being able to communicate effectively with people. This concept also includes virtues such as the child respecting all living things and nature, being compassionate, and being fair.
So, which words are effective for the child to have high emotional intelligence?
1. How nice of you to express your feelings in words! Now I understand you better.
It is the most basic step of effective communication. It is one of the first skills to be developed. Emotions are already expressed in the body, but not every person can express them with words. Being able to verbalize the feelings of an adult or a child prevents many problems before they occur. It is very effective in becoming a loved and respected friend.
2. What do you feel?
In order for the child to express his emotions, he needs to recognize these emotions. Explaining basic emotions (anger, sadness, fear, happiness, love, surprise, disgust, shame) with visuals or even hanging a board in the room is a very effective way for them to learn. It is insufficient to evaluate the emotions experienced after events as only good or bad. This question is the first step in the child's learning about emotions.
3. With neighbors, relatives or acquaintances It is a very thoughtful behavior to greet them when you meet them and ask how they are.
The child who recognizes emotions and can express them with words should also be able to use this skill with his environment. An effective communication with the environment begins with greetings and asking how one is doing. It is the point where respect in society begins.
4. It really impresses me that you are sensitive towards trees, animals and plants.
Every child loves nature, animals and plants. We must show him respect and protection. It is very important for them to know that we live together in the same universe, that they too have lives, and that some of them have emotions like us. A child with high emotional intelligence is compatible with the natural environment as well as the social environment. If they disappear, we will disappear too.
5. You defended yourself well. Well done.
Children with high emotional intelligence know their own limits. Not only can he know, he can also defend it. In order for this sentence to be effective, the child must be approached consciously about his/her private area, especially during infancy and transition to childhood. Forcibly touching his body even if he does not want it, physical or verbal violations make this sentence ineffective.
6. I appreciate you treating others with respect.
The most basic feature of respect is to pay attention to the other party's boundaries. It means not violating its boundaries. It is very important to teach the child words and behaviors that violate a person's boundaries. When you practice this, be sure to reinforce the correct behavior with this word so that it becomes permanent.
7. The way you listen to me when I talk and look into my eyes impresses me a lot. When you do this, I feel valued.
Empathy is one of the most important issues in emotional intelligence. In fact, empathy is one of the most important points for a happy friendship and a happy marriage. The way to learn empathy is through effective listening. This is a serious wound in our society, but I hope the new generation will be further ahead than us.
8. I think differently.
Every person may have a different opinion. This is a wealth. An effective way to prevent fights and hostility is for the child to learn that different thoughts are normal. this is c This sentence is one of the sentences that emphasizes this best. When parents talk to each other, expressing this at the appropriate time and in the appropriate language is the most effective way for the child to learn. You will teach a sentence that will be good for the child throughout his life.
9. When you experience a problem, don't give up immediately. As your parents, we are always behind you, dear.
An important component that ensures high emotional intelligence is being able to cope with difficulties. Underneath a successful job or a happy home lies the ability to face and struggle with difficulties. Because there will always be difficulties and troubles on the path to success and on the path to happiness. This takes courage. The child gets his courage from the things he does on his own and the emotional support of his parents.
10. When you have difficulty, you can ask for the opinion of people you trust.
The suggestions and thoughts you receive from the right people at the right time can change your life. The thought “My opinion is always right” is a guarantee of failure and unhappiness. Asking for your spouse's opinion and your child's opinion from time to time increases his or her emotional intelligence.
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