During the development of children, in addition to the difficulties brought by the developmental period, various life events also have challenging effects. Some of these challenging life events are; starting school, change of caregiver, argument between parents, birth of a sibling, moving, losses or divorce.
Divorce is an important process that affects developing children in many aspects. Parents also play the role of husband and wife during the marriage process. They will undertake parenting work that may take approximately 18-21 years out of their ongoing lives. Various difficulties encountered over time can cause unhappiness rather than happiness between these two people. Economic problems, family elders' constant interference in marriage, even living with elders in extended family models and the effects of social or cultural differences resulting from this, sexual problems, significant mental or physical health problems, different personality traits that hinder communication, betrayal of one of the spouses that will disrupt the relationship of trust. Many reasons such as domestic violence, change in the status of one of the spouses or changing the city due to a job change affect the spouses' ability to get along with each other and cause relationship problems that last until divorce. It may be replaced by periods of anger, resentment, disappointment and discussion involving constant criticism. In fact, even during these periods, different emotions can be experienced. Especially feelings about parents cause them to bring up the issue of maintaining the marriage again. However, in these negative emotions, we see that spouses fall into their own troubles and cannot pay much attention to their children as parents.
In cases where there are no children, that is, when there is no parenting function, two adult people will make decisions about how they will continue their future lives, and this They will continue to live their lives accordingly. However, the parenting function will make this process difficult.
From the perspective of child mental health, parents do not have to be husband and wife at the same time. The happiness of parents living together in terms of children's mental health , is much more important than them being unhappy but together. It will be much more difficult for children to live with parents who live together but constantly hurt each other, insult each other, or argue. The fact that two loved people constantly insult each other will confuse the child and unhappiness will be transmitted to the child. Are these people he loves not as good as he thinks, but bad enough to upset, beat or humiliate each other? When we think that growth will develop under the guidance of a guide during child development, the 'values' or 'behaviours' of the adults we live with will be assimilated and form the building blocks of the personality that will develop in the child. Having positive characteristics to model will facilitate this process. When you look at your development, you remember that you identify with a strong and good character, even in a movie, novel or fairy tale.
The decision belongs to the spouses, this process may result in living together again or in a divorce decision. What is important is the happiness of the family with the child or young person as a result of this decision.
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