Mothers and fathers use the reward system when educating their children about discipline, teaching them rules, teaching them behavior, or when there is something they want them to do. But what really matters here is whether the reward system is used correctly or not. Because if reward is not used correctly, it can have devastating effects like punishment. It can cause serious damage to the child's personality development and communication with his/her parents. For this reason, families need to know how to reward their children while educating them.
What are the NEGATIVE Effects of the Reward System?
The child, whose reward system works intensively and whose every behavior is rewarded, will begin to be dissatisfied with any reward over time. There will no longer be such a concept as unattainable for the child, who is met with praise and reward after almost every behavior, and he will experience the feelings of dissatisfaction and dissatisfaction that come with being able to achieve almost anything.
In addition, those who use the reward system and turn this into a matter of bargaining. You will also begin to encounter children who bring them frequently. As a result of this, he will want a new reward and will be unhappy when he cannot get it. At the same time, a child raised in this way will carry this as a personality trait when he or she becomes an adult, and may experience collapses when faced with situations where he or she must make intense efforts to achieve his or her wishes and is not rewarded or appreciated.
What families do about rewards. Another mistake is to focus on the reward rather than focusing on the positive aspect of the behavior. As a result, children will try to run for rewards instead of learning the behavior. If the child is doing something wrong and says "If you don't..." When faced with sentence patterns like this, the child focuses on the reward to be offered and does not learn the behavior he/she should not do. Family also misses the point. The behavior does not go away; it repeats even if it disappears momentarily. What really matters is:Why the child behaves this way.
Each age group has a different reward system. Generally speaking;
First Let's start from infancy:
What they need during infancy is love, trust, and approval. We convey this situation to them with our gestures and facial expressions. When we reward them, we make eye contact and say loving words to convey that we accept them. We hug, caress, sing lullabies and play games. As mentioned at the beginning, these behaviors are important for the child's need for trust and approval and should be done anyway. However, when reward is desired, the intensity should be increased. Proper use of the reward system during this period will contribute to the establishment of this system in the baby in the future periods.
Pre-School Period:
Spending quality time with the child, as in infancy. should be at the forefront. And rewards should be given appropriate to the child's age. For example;" "If you don't have any problems going to kindergarten and don't cry, I'll buy you a tablet." A parent who says this does not reward his child. Because the tablet is not only not a device suitable for the child's age, but also a punishment considering his development.
This is a period in which cognitive and emotional processes develop. Expectations are at the highest level. Therefore, the rewards you offer to your children should be realistic and fulfilled soon. While teaching behavior; Reward schedules can also be made to encourage the child. Such as drawing a kitty on a chart, drawing a smiling face, drawing sun-moon and clouds…
School Period:
As in other developmental stages, expressing love to the child is a is the reward. Spending quality time with her increases her trust in you. At the same time, in this period, the child has learned to wait compared to other periods and is aware that he must strive for his goals. Therefore, you can give rewards that you will realize after a long time. But the time should not be too long. The child should feel satisfied that he/she has received a reward after his/her behavior. Course success can be rewarded. However, his success should be rewarded, not his intelligence. And remembering that he is in a growing age, rewards appropriate to his age and expectations should be preferred. Because in this period, children He wants to see his efforts yield results and attempts to prove himself. For this reason, it is beneficial to use correct and appropriate rewards in terms of personality development.
It should not be forgotten that ;
Rewards are given to the behavior, not to the child. So when giving children rewards, praise the behavior. Because this is the main purpose of the award. Teaching behavior… In addition, promises and rewards that need to be fulfilled should be realized at the specified time so that there are no relational breaks between the child and his parents. Do not let the bonds of trust be damaged.
Reward is an important point in child development. For this reason, children should be given adequate and timely rewards at the right time.
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