As a society, we are generally very fast individuals. We drive fast in traffic and we like it. When eating, some of us eat quickly, as if we were rushing. It's like a voice in our heads is constantly saying "hurry up, come on, hurry up" in the background. Both our teachers and parents expect our children to start reading and writing as soon as possible from the first day they start school, and we settle into their subconscious without realizing this haste. Then, we are surprised when research reveals that 7 out of every 10 Turkish men have premature ejaculation problems. After the cases I have encountered, I can easily say this; The faster we live life, the more likely we are to be candidates for premature ejaculation.
Of course, it would not be the right approach to attribute premature ejaculation to just one or a few reasons. Premature ejaculation is a bio-psycho-social disorder that can have multidimensional causes. Some of these reasons are as follows: superstitions,
-Inexperience in sexual intercourse,
-Misunderstandings and unrealistic expectations about sexual physiology,
-Weak sexual skills and inexperience,
-Anxiety and depression,
—Stress, distress and tension,
—Fatigue, boredom, anger and anxiety,
—Unrealistic expectations regarding sexuality,
—Lack of sexual stimulation,
—Failure to meet the necessary conditions,
-Disproportionate importance given to an erect penis,
-Growing up under sexual pressure,
-Tension caused by excessive sexual desire,
-Sinning or feeling of guilt,
-Illness Fear of contracting,
-Fear of not being understood or rejection by the partner,
-Fear of getting pregnant,
-Fear of castration,
-Fear of disappointment of the partner,
-Fear of the vagina not being penetrated ,
-Reluctance towards women,
-Conflict with partner,
-Fear of having their private parts discovered by others,
-Excessive interest, devotion and love for the partner,
-In return for money established relationships or general v habit,
-Sexual incompatibility,
-Subconscious negative thoughts about sexual intercourse,
-Prostatitis, urethritis, etc. diseases,
-Extreme sensitivity of the glans (penile hypersensitivity),
-Neurological injuries at the T12-L1 level,
-Sudden discontinuation of narcotic or antipsychotic treatment, etc.
Early In the diagnosis of ejaculation, attention should be paid to whether ejaculation actually occurs early or whether it is perceived as premature due to the slow reaction of the female partner. The diagnosis of premature ejaculation should be made only when the ejaculation process is not sufficiently controlled by the man or when the partner does not experience orgasm because the man cannot control the ejaculation process sufficiently. Before diagnosing premature ejaculation, the sexual therapist should take into consideration factors such as age, frequency of sexual intercourse, partner characteristics, duration of foreplay and stimulating environment. Because premature ejaculation is common in young men who have sexual intercourse for the first time. Most young men can later develop control over ejaculation time. Under normal conditions, 75% of women do not have a vaginal orgasm. Because couples often focus on vaginal orgasm and chase after a difficult task that will not happen, their anxiety, fear and anxiety increase. The man feels increasingly unsuccessful and inadequate. The feeling of failure results in even premature ejaculation. (Obsession with vaginal orgasm) If a man goes back and forth for 10 minutes rather than 1 minute and does not stimulate the clitoris, he will generally have difficulty satisfying his partner. (The unbearable weight of the clitoris) The wives of men who ejaculate prematurely often fake orgasm. (The unbearable weight of sexual intercourse) It is not surprising that the partners of men who have premature ejaculation problems experience decreased sexual interest and desire or orgasm disorders as a secondary problem. The reason for this is that men avoid foreplay with the thought of ejaculating prematurely and become obsessed with vaginal orgasm.
Premature ejaculation has been tried to be defined in many ways. The most common definition we hear is ejaculating without satisfying the partner. However, when we express it this way, we ignore the characteristics of the partner. If the woman reaches orgasm in a short time, does the man ejaculate prematurely? It may be considered tiring, or a man with different partners may be able to satisfy one partner very easily but not the other. Then, does this man have a premature ejaculation problem or not? For this reason, the expression "ejaculating before satisfying the partner" is inadequate to describe premature ejaculation. Premature ejaculation is also tried to be defined by minutes or by how many times the penis moves inside the vagina. In our opinion, instead, it should be checked whether the man has voluntary control over his ejaculation reflex and whether he can decide when to ejaculate. For this reason, instead of premature ejaculation, it should be called "uncontrolled ejaculation or involuntary ejaculation". This is like saying "I'm full now, I won't eat any more" after eating a meal you like. The meal of a man who ejaculates prematurely is left unfinished, and while he is still eating, a hand comes and takes his plate from in front of him. However, a man with ejaculation control can eat as much as he wants and when the time comes he can say "I'm full now, I won't eat any more". He decides this himself. He does not regret his decision. In premature ejaculation, post-ejaculation guilt, shame, unhappiness, restlessness, etc. emotions come. The person wants to have intercourse again because the pleasure is incomplete, but this time he may experience erectile dysfunction or his partner may not be happy with this situation. In this case, the partner may be confused, blame himself, and feel anger towards the man.
Men who ejaculate prematurely usually express themselves as follows:
"I ejaculate immediately before entering the vagina or after going back and forth a few times… ''
''When that moment comes, I can't control myself.''
''I feel inadequate and worthless.''
''I'm tired of being ashamed and apologizing to my partner after sexual intercourse.''< br /> "What I fear happens to me every time."
"If I enter the vagina right away, if I don't ejaculate." ''I am very tired of this situation.''
''I am hesitant to approach the opposite sex because of my early divorce problem.''
''What if I cannot satisfy my spouse when I get married in the future.''
Men who ejaculate prematurely are confused about many issues. This is caused by incorrect and exaggerated thoughts, comparisons and personality traits in their minds about sexuality. The problem of premature ejaculation, which occasionally occurs during the first sexual experience with different partners, confuses men greatly. One of the questions we get most often is whether premature ejaculation can occur with masturbation. In other words, men who do not yet have an active sexual life or have no experience, but who ejaculate in a short time through masturbation, also ask us if they have premature ejaculation problems. First, it is necessary to clarify that premature ejaculation is a condition that occurs during sexual intercourse, premature ejaculation does not occur with masturbation. In order to diagnose premature ejaculation in a person, this problem must occur continuously, repetitively and repeatedly in every relationship for at least 4-6 months. Again, in order to diagnose premature ejaculation, the man must have a regular partner or spouse, because different partners cause different excitement and a man who constantly changes partners is more likely to have premature ejaculation problems.
But the most important thing to know is. One of the issues is that, regardless of the cause, premature ejaculation is a condition that can be treated and overcome with the mutual cooperation of the patient/client and therapist/counsellor. For this reason, as well as the importance of compliance with the treatment plan made by the therapist/counsellor, the participation of both partners in the treatment is a factor that reduces the duration of the treatment and increases the success rate. Here, the emotional closeness and support of the couples to each other is another factor that positively affects the treatment. So, as we said in the title of our article, YOU ARE THE COLUMN FOR PRIMARY EJACULATION!
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