How Do We Protect Our Children From Sexual Abuse?

Research shows that 20 out of every 100 children in the world are abused. Unfortunately, it is known in the international literature that there are more abuse cases in 'developing' societies like our country. Undoubtedly, sexual abuse is an event that we hope will never happen to our children. On the other hand, it is very important to talk about this issue with our children at the appropriate time. Because this is the best way to protect our children from sexual abuse. Children who are informed about sexual abuse are better prepared to prevent this unfortunate experience and to share their abuse with a trusted adult. Sexual abuse is most often committed by someone in the child's close circle.

In this sense, the first and most important duty of parents is to address the issue of "sexual abuse", even though it is not used by its full name, in the preschool period, when they begin to inform their children about sexuality. To help your child protect himself sexually, you can start an informative conversation with a statement such as "Our body is special, we do not use it to play, and we should not allow others to play with our body." You should talk about "good touch" and "bad touch" and teach your child that touching someone else or being touched by someone else is a sign of love and that he can say this when he wants to hug someone or have someone hug him or love him. You may not like it; Therefore, it is very important to advise that if the other person touches her in a way that she does not like, she should be able to express this, and if she cannot prevent it, she should tell an adult. It is important to emphasize that even if the person who touched her in an unwanted way insists, he should definitely not keep it a "secret" and that you can only protect him if he tells the truth. When describing good and bad touches, parents should be careful to explain their children in a calm and gentle manner, without scaring or worrying them. Another point to consider is that parents should not place too much emphasis on "bad touches" in such conversations. Because drawing too much attention to negative sexual experiences may cause the child to become anxious and avoid receiving 'good touches' that include love and affection from those closest to them. It may also cause misperception. This issue can be addressed in different contexts as your child gets older.

 

What can we do;

• Children do not listen to us, they WATCH us.

• Knowing your child and talking to him/her will strengthen the secure bond between you.

• Your child's Knowing who they spend time with is important for your and your child's safety.

• If there is someone who has just moved into your environment and you think they are very interested in your child, you can collect some information about them.

• It is important to follow technology closely. Do not forget to check every internet communication line that the child can reach. However, this control should not be in an oppressive attitude, but in agreement with your child.

• Keep in touch with your child's friends. Do not forget to invite them home and meet their friends.

• You can observe whether your child has any different behavior lately.

• Your child's Be careful of people nearby, but do not overdo the monitoring. BALANCE IS IMPORTANT.

• If your communication with your child is impaired, improve your communication with professional support (consult a child psychiatrist or psychologist).

• Observe your children's behavior. . Monitor changes, find reasons. You may be suspicious in situations where you cannot find the reason.

• If you suspect sexual abuse, try to talk to your child in words that he or she can understand, correctly, without panicking. Never be accusatory or intimidating.

• Do not lose his trust while supervising, talk to him if necessary and reach an agreement.

• Without shaking his trust in people. inform. For example; He/she should not react angrily to an adult caressing his/her hair

• Tell, show and teach him/her about the private parts of the body (chest, between the legs and the butt area). You can make him/her know and understand that no one can touch these places and that they are special.

• If the doctor is only with the parents, this is important. Don't forget to explain that it can touch certain areas.

• Explain that you should not keep secrets. NEVER say "this is a secret between us"!

• Teach them to say "no".

• Tell them what to do in case of sexual abuse. Teach him to say "No, I don't want you to touch him" when someone touches his private parts. Despite this, if it touches; Teach them to run away, scream, and tell their parents about the incident.

• In cases where you suspect, no matter who the sexual abuser is, never remain silent, do not be afraid, do not be ashamed, contact the relevant institutions. Know that institutions work with confidentiality and sensitivity by expert teams.

 

Reactions that may be seen in a child who is sexually abused;

• Fear,

• Withdrawal, inability to enjoy life,

• Starting to incontinence for the second time,

• Behavior problems,

• School problems,

• Sexual problems,

• Sexual games inappropriate for your age

• Fear of strangers,

• Unreasonable and Non-physical problems such as nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, headaches,

• Anger reactions, aggressive behavior or inability to cope with anger (One of the most common findings in boys who are sexually abused.)

• Feeling of inferiority, desire to harm oneself. (This is the most common finding in girls who are sexually abused)

• Continuous "opposition, defiance" behaviors can be observed.

• Thumb sucking and nail biting may occur.

• Exaggeration in all kinds of behavior,

• Sleep disorders,

• Excessive interest in another child,

• Girls feeling insecure and stressed around boys,

• Feelings of guilt and depression may occur,

• Tendency to crime,

• Panic attacks (especially seen in boys who are attacked by their same sex). ) – Feeling of being dirty and worthless,

• Uncontrolled masturbation,

• The above-mentioned items and EVERY different form of SEXUAL ABUSE that you cannot understand in your child should be kept in the back of your mind.

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