Vaginismus is defined as the involuntary contraction of the vaginal muscles during vaginal penetration attempts, preventing sexual intercourse. Vaginismus is also called by the society as the fear of the first night and the inability to have sexual intercourse.
Some of the couples who have vaginismus problems are first surprised by what they are experiencing. They never thought that something like this would happen to them before. Others have had first night fears before. In fact, as the wedding date approaches, fears increase accordingly. Couples cannot understand why they have such a problem. Another group of couples have difficulty accepting that they have a vaginismus problem at first. In some other couples, each spouse may blame the other.
The person who has the problem of not being able to have sexual intercourse (vaginismus) feels deeply saddened. And at first they cry often. They think they are the only couple with vaginismus problems. After each attempt at sexual intercourse fails, their self-confidence is shaken. They even begin to believe that they will never be able to solve this problem.
However, vaginismus responds perfectly to sexual therapy. The inability to have sexual intercourse is a sexual problem that can definitely be solved under the guidance of an experienced sexual therapist.
Are you experiencing vaginismus? To understand this, you can decide for yourself whether you have vaginismus by reviewing the typical symptoms below.
- The sexual intercourse does not occur at all or is painful or painful.
- Fear, avoidance and inability to have sexual intercourse.
- When the moment comes, contractions occur throughout the body or in the hips and legs.
- Frequently closing the legs and withdrawing. .
- The most basic symptom of vaginismus is that the person experiences a panic attack-like situation when that moment comes. In other words, the person pushes his/her partner and becomes stiff. Feels anxiety, fear, anxiety. Even though consciousness is clear, it loses control. It is as if the person is put into a negative hypnosis trance by the unconscious.
- Experiencing fear, trembling, sweating, feeling overwhelmed or fainting when that moment comes.
- Sexual intercourse. Expectation of pain during intercourse.
- Sexual intercourse either not taking place at all or only taking place partially (entry of the penis head or half of the penis).
- Encountering the same thing in each attempt, hitting the wall and failure of penetration.
- Feeling pain in the vagina when that moment comes.
- Crying crises after unsuccessful sexual intercourse attempts.
- For some people, even if sexual intercourse occurs, the intercourse is painful and painful. .
- Even though the person wants to have sexual intercourse very much, they show a postponement and avoidance behavior and attitude that they do not know.
Vaginismus (inability to have sexual intercourse) by observing whether you are experiencing these problems. You can decide for yourself whether you are experiencing the problem or not. Because you know best what you are experiencing.
On the other hand, it is not necessary to have all of the above typical symptoms. For example, although some of my clients suffering from vaginismus experience the feeling and fear of fainting, others do not experience this symptom at all. Some people experience tremors when that moment comes, while others do not have this symptom at all. While some people are clearly afraid that there will be pain, some do not have this fear and are simply afraid that bad things will happen when that moment comes.
If you cannot have sexual intercourse, or if sexual intercourse is partial, or if sexual intercourse is painful and painful at that moment. If you experience these symptoms when it comes, it means you are experiencing vaginismus (inability to have sexual intercourse). Some couples experiencing this problem believe that it will be solved over time and leave themselves with the flow of time. Some vaginismus husbands see this problem as a problem that they can solve in their wives' minds and believe that their wives will solve this problem on their own over time.
Some other groups of couples gradually lose their motivation to try after each unsuccessful attempt. Gradually, the number of attempts decreases, and over time, they stop trying at all and stop talking about this problem. Another group of couples panic and are confused about what to do, and they seek urgent and rapid treatment. However, none of these approaches are efficient and accurate. It is not. What they need to do is to calm down, do some research, get informed, and then try to distinguish whether they have the above symptoms or not. If they think they have a vaginismus problem, they should consult an experienced sexual therapist as a couple without delay. Because vaginismus does not resolve on its own over time. And the contractions and avoidances experienced by the person are not in his control and are absolutely beyond his control. On the other hand, vaginismus is a problem that can be solved most perfectly with sexual therapy among all female sexual dysfunctions.
When that moment comes, it is absolutely beyond the person's control whether he tightens himself, avoids it, closes his legs, pushes his partner with his hands, and experiences a state of fear. Therefore, the couple should not blame each other. As a couple, they should support each other and agree to take forward steps to solve the problem under the guidance of a sexual therapist.
Vaginismus is a disorder of postponement and avoidance. It puts the couple in a vicious circle by wasting time with the logic of "not today, tomorrow, not this week, next week, not this month, but next month". Unfortunately, this period of time works against the couple's marital relationship. Over time, marital problems are added to the problem of not being able to have sexual intercourse. The couple's burden becomes increasingly heavy. At the same time, vaginismus causes self-confidence problems in the person. Loss of self-confidence not only causes the person to think that this problem will never be solved over time, but also paves the way for marital problems and gradually begins to negatively affect the relationship. Vaginismus is a problem that makes the couple incredibly sad and upset. The good news is that vaginismus is not insoluble. Vaginismus is a problem that can be solved perfectly with sexual therapy.
I wonder if I will have a good life, will we be able to solve this problem? Will we be able to have enjoyable sexuality like other couples? If you ask yourself, you will definitely get this life you miss. What you need to do for this is to consult an experienced sexual therapist and proceed under his guidance.
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