Anger, happiness, joy, sadness, sadness is a normal emotion to be found in every healthy person. It is often forgotten that anger is also an emotion, and it is often thought that this emotion, which leaves the person uncontrolled and negatively affects other people when it arises, is just a behavior. In other words, it can be forgotten that the emotion is a result of anger, and the resulting behavior is a result of anger. Every person is equipped with a feeling of anger and this feeling can be experienced from time to time. The dose of this anger can sometimes be controlled and sometimes leave the individual uncontrolled. In other words, anger can cause positive or negative results in people.
ARE YOU ANGRY?
∙'When I get angry, I don't see anyone, I hurt everyone.'
∙'When I'm angry, I throw whatever I can.'
∙'When I'm angry, I kick everywhere around me.'
∙'I can't relax without hitting the people I'm angry with.'
∙'I yell extremely loudly at people I'm angry at.'
∙'I clenched my teeth and my fist when I'm angry.'
∙'I'm such an angry person that my stomach is big when I'm angry I feel pain.'
There may be an anger control problem if there are people around you who use such sentences and behave like this. It occurs in situations that can make people feel bad, not respected, ignored by those around them, not seeing the value we expect by the people we need emotional closeness, not being accepted, being restricted, feeling blocked, and similar situations. For example, people who want to benefit from psychological counseling for anger problems often experience disappointment in meeting their needs and expectations. Some individuals' expectations from the people around them may be quite high or unrealistic, and the people around them sometimes have difficulty in meeting this expectation, and the person may become angry because of their unmet needs. Therefore, individuals who describe themselves as angry need to evaluate the causes of their anger well. Those who find themselves angry, are seen as angry by the people around them. It may be beneficial for individuals to ask themselves questions such as 'Why might I be angry?', 'How do I reflect that I am angry?' 'What can trigger my anger?' and try to find answers to these questions.
The feeling of anger belongs to individuals. It prevents interference and violation of the specially determined limits by others. So, from time to time, anger is a necessary emotion for human beings. The important thing in anger is how this emotion is expressed by the individual. A healthy expression of anger is the ability of the angry person to convey to the other party what behavior or behaviors he is angry with, what emotions he is under the influence of as a result, and what his expectation from other people is, what his real need is, in a meaningful and concrete way. In this way, people can try to be more careful by trying to understand what the angry individual is angry about and what he 'feels'. In this way, the angry individual may have benefited from the positive feedback of this emotion, which he conveyed in a healthy language. In other words, he expresses his anger through the behaviors, feelings and thoughts of the other party. However, angry individuals may use a language that is critical, labeling, judgmental, condescending, and oppressive while doing this. This can sometimes lead to the possibility of being defensive on the other side. For this reason, irreparable anger problems may arise between people. In fact, what needs to be done here is that people can be 'selfish' in moments of anger. How? The things that each person is angry about may be different, the way they reflect this may be different. Angry individuals should be able to answer the question, “How do you know when you are angry?” in detail. The individual who realizes that he is angry or will become angry should remember himself.
∙What did he think about at that moment?
∙ Understand that What words were said to him in the past that sparked his anger, and how did they make him feel?
∙What was the real emotion behind his anger?
The individual who asks these questions to himself/herself should express to the other person what he/she is so angry or angry about, only through himself/herself. In other words, it should be ensured that whoever is in front of us, what behavior is making this individual angry. People who are aware of our sincere and real feelings will try to understand you better about your anger. should express. Knowing these expectations will also make the people around us be more attentive to us.
Anger is actually a secondary emotion, that is, the result. For this reason, finding the true emotion and thoughts behind your anger is a very important dimension in controlling anger. Generally, individuals do not complain about the damaging side of anger without witnessing the concrete effects of anger. Especially for individuals who cannot raise awareness of the causes of their anger, the feeling of anger can pose a serious threat to the mental health of individuals without giving any concrete results. Please note that if you think you have anger problems or believe someone is in this group, they can be overcome with the right professional support.
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