What I observe very often in my female patients who are in the infertility process is a system of thought focused on the past and the future. This situation did not come suddenly, of course. In the period following the diagnosis of infertility, the person does not know what awaits him/her; This challenging adventure always begins with good intentions and wishes. On the other hand, with the uncertainty of the treatment course and the fact that people have no control in this process, a "chain of thoughts" begins in infertility patients. As time progresses and if the treatment has not yet yielded a clear result, these thoughts in women are generally about past sorrows and regrets, and they tend to judge themselves a little harshly. For example: “I wish I had started this treatment earlier, I had not waited so long” or “I wish I had not gone there, I had come to this center before”.. The wishes continue in this way, they grow and grow as they continue.. Not to mention the question marks for the future. The sentences I hear most frequently from my patients in my clinical interviews are as follows: "Will it happen or won't it happen?" I can't get this thought out of my mind. I constantly think about what will happen if it doesn't happen!”. This question is a common theme for many infertile patients, whether they are starting infertility treatment for the first time or have spent a lot of time on the subject. Although it is not possible to completely eliminate this thought from the mind, control can be achieved over the content of this thought. One of the things we do most often in therapy is to reconsider the existing thought system, identify the thoughts that push the person to negativity, and replace them with rational thoughts.
If the above sounds familiar to you, do this for a few minutes: Sorrows from the past. Leave aside regrets and concerns about the future. Live “today”… This hour… That is, “now”. In other words, feel the only unit of time in which you have energy and what you can do for yourself. Your life energy, all your power, is fed by “present time” and you can only change things. It is possible in this time period, remember this.
Many people can ignore the existing time period and actually miss something valuable. If you are currently on this site If you are reading these lines, you obviously care about your situation and want to learn more and get more information. You want to make the most of the moment you live in. After browsing these pages, as your life goes by, appreciating your "moment" and realizing what you can do for yourself outside of your "infertility struggle" will undoubtedly come back to you in a very positive way. The power of the present exists neither in the past nor in the future. You are in control of your life, and by transferring your energy to yourself in a positive way, rest assured, many things can change. Although fighting infertility is a very tiring process, if you are taking steps in this regard now, if you have chosen a reliable center for your treatment and your plans are clear, freeing your mind from the captivity of the past and future and focusing on the "now" will benefit you a lot. A lack of "sense of control" is a very common occurrence during infertility treatments. But if you focus on a variety of other activities and pursuits that are within your control, you can prevent loss of control from taking over your entire life. Adopting a system of emotions, thoughts and behaviors such as "I am doing everything I can, everything is fine for now, I have interests in..., ... and I enjoy it very much" will make you feel comfortable. In addition, as you discover different ways to beautify your life, you will understand how much lighter your burden is and, most importantly, the value of "yourself" better...
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