Having a new member join the family is a very exciting process for parents. Especially if this member will be the second child of the house; Parents are worried about whether they will get along with their older brother or sister, how their child will react to this situation, and how they will react to the newborn sibling. This is why; They often ask their children questions about whether they want siblings. This issue; It is not a matter to be asked or consulted with children. Even if the child tells his parents that he wants a sibling; It should be said that this is not a decision he can make, it is the parents who decide.
Even if children say they want siblings; Their emotions and behaviors may change during pregnancy or when the baby is born. Especially in the last stages of pregnancy; When this issue is constantly discussed in the family and the uneasiness of the sibling about to be born is added to this situation, as well as the mother becoming heavier and her mobility restricted, children can make endless demands from the mother. After birth; especially if he is an only child; Having to share the love of the parents, taking care of the newborn baby and spending more time with him may cause the child to become angry towards the newborn sibling. Sometimes older children may show regressive behavior and act as if they are younger than their age. Typical examples of this situation include increased crying behavior, talking like a baby, wanting to use a bottle even though one has learned to use a cup, and using a diaper despite having acquired the toilet habit. Discourses such as "You are big, he/she is younger, look, you are now a big sister or brother, at least don't do it" may increase this situation, and the child may get the perception that if I am little, they will love me too, thus increasing these behaviors.
Also, not wanting to go to school, sleeping and sleeping. Eating problems, angry or violent behavior towards siblings, parents and elders, withdrawing or acting as if there are no siblings, etc. Problems occur frequently.
Of course, there are statements and behaviors that parents should do in order to prevent or reduce all these situations. First of all, before birth, the future of a new sibling should be explained to the child together by the mother and father. When the mother's belly starts to grow, that is, as she approaches It is best to make this statement when the baby is 4-5 months old. If it is explained from the very beginning, the time will be long, and especially if the child is in preschool, he or she may become impatient and ask questions such as when the child will be born every day. Since it is known that the first months of pregnancy are risky, it would be best to explain it to the child during the risk-free period.
If someone else will take care of the older child after birth, such as a grandmother, the caregiver should come 1-2 months before the birth rather than during the birth. , must take care of the child and the child must get used to this situation. In this case, the perception in the older child that my parents do not want me because my brother was born and that my grandmother is taking care of me is prevented. If the birth of the sibling occurs at the same time that the older child is sent to school, the child will again have the perception that he/she is not wanted. Particular attention should be paid to this situation.
The responsibility of the sibling should not be placed on the older child. Small tasks related to the sibling can be given. For example, saying "Can you bring your brother's bottle from the other room?" If he does this, it is necessary to say well done and motivate him. However, if the child does not want to do it, it should never be forced.
Blaining his sibling in front of the older child is one of the common mistakes parents make. Statements such as, "Look, your sibling is dirty, he cries a lot, we love you, let's give him back" should not be made.
A caring, affectionate, consistent approach and sharing the parents' roles in taking care of children are very important, and the older child will do this over time. He will get through the process and accept his brother.
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